


Bad Habit

by Nanerich



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asmodeus Being an Asshole (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Asmodeus is the worst parent ever, Eventual Comfort, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Malec, Mobster AU, Robert Lightwood ain't that great either, and whumpy, angst and hurt, broken up though, everybody is a mundane, no shadowworld exists, rated M because they be doing it, really angsty, their friends are plenty worried about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: Two years ago, Magnus Bane disappeared without more than a short note.And now, he stands in the door of Alec's office, asking for a second chance.As little as he wanted to, Alec couldn't help the draw that just roped him, every time Magnus was in front of him. But was any love left there, or was it just a damn addiction?
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 14
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

“Hello, Alexander.”

The sound of that voice was enough for every muscle in Alec's body to clench, so much so, that he almost broke the glass he was holding.

Two years. It has been two years, since he last heard this voice, since the last time he heard his name being pronounced like _that,_ and it still did unexplainable things to his body.

After a deep breath, he turned around to face his visitor. “Magnus.”

Two years. It has been two years, since he last saw these shining golden eyes, since he last saw the perfectly styled hair with a colourful dyed streak, matching the exactly applied eyeliner and the outfit, that looked like it came straight from a runway in Milan.

“What are you doing here?”

“I'm back”, he shrugged, offering Alec a small smile. “For good, that is.”

“Good for you.” Alec put the glass down on his desk. “Guess I'll see you around, then.” With that, Alec made his way out of his office, when Magnus grabbed his arm, held him back.

Two years. It has been two years since the strong hands held tightly onto Alec, since the brush of Magnus' skin on his was enough to send every neuron into overdrive.

“Alec, please. Let me explain.”

“What is there to explain?”, Alec shot back, surprised at himself at how calm he managed to sound. “Not that you made anything clear the last time I saw you, but I still believe there isn't more to say.” Alec freed himself from the grasp and left his office and a wide-eyed Magnus behind.

Two years. It has been two years, since Magnus disappeared without a trace, leaving Alec nothing but a short letter, telling him he had to leave and as sorry as he was that it had to be this way. It has been two years, since Alec, who had been ready to go to the ends of the earth with Magnus, and already had gotten a fucking engagement ring, was left behind, broken into a million little pieces.

And now that Alec had managed to glue himself back together, even if only just about, Magnus dared to come back and just show up on Alec's doorstep?

His coat wrapped tightly around him, Alec hurried through the streets that were as busy as ever. And, though he normally enjoyed the walk, it took him everything not to slip into a dark alley and repeatedly bang his head against some brick wall, until the last fifteen minutes or so were just erased from his brain. Izzy'd have his head though; after being incident free for almost six months...

What the fuck was going on in Magnus' head, that he'd think it'd be alright to just waltz back in, with his fabulous make-up and outfits, shoot Alec that bright smile and think everything would be alright? All that after two years of radio silence. So why then should Alec care that he was 'back for good'? And how the hell was he supposed to trust in that?

He wasn't, that was it, plain and simple. Alec had closed that chapter and was moving on, leaving Magnus to be a thing of the past. Who was he kidding, if Magnus truly were nothing more than a long gone part of Alec's past, he wouldn't feel the need to box through the next best wall.

Just before he walked back into his apartment, he hesitated and, letting out a deep breath, he rested his head against the wooden door. As much as he loved his siblings and living together with them, he just wanted to be alone.

That wasn't gonna happen, though. So, the sooner he got through it, the better. He was barely through the door, when Jace called out for him. “You're just in time, pizza's still warm and... Shit, what's wrong?”

Even though he had barely looked up from the couch, Jace immediately noticed Alec being off, something Alec loved him for. He'd still prefer to be unnoticed and alone in his room right now.

“Magnus is back”, he mumbled, after closing the door behind him.

“Fuck.” Alec had barely time to react, Jace jumped up from the couch and pulled Alec into a hug.

“Thanks”, he mumbled, once Jace let go of him.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“There's not much to talk about”, Alec shrugged and discarded his coat, throwing it somewhere in the general direction of a chair. He trudged over to the couch and sat himself down by Jace's side. “He showed up at the Institute, said he wants to explain and that he's back for good.”

“And?”

“And nothing.” Alec grabbed a piece of pizza. “I left.”

“Good.” Jace leaned back, his face as hard and rigid as that of a statue as he, probably, plotted on how to get Magnus to keep away from Alec; knowing Jace, there was just enough violence involved. “You don't know where he's staying, do you?”

“You're not gonna go and beat him up.”

“I just want to talk!” His arms raised defensively, Jace couldn't help the grin breaking through. “Alright, fine. He broke my brother's heart, I deserve to break his nose.”

“Whose nose are you breaking and where can I get in on that action?” Izzy sauntered out of her bedroom and sprawled herself out over the brother's laps. She cupped Alec's face, searching his eyes. “Fuck. It's Magnus, isn't it?”

Alec just stuffed his face with more pizza, which was clearly answer enough.

“Oh, I've been waiting two years to stomp all over that guy in my ten-inch heels.”

“No breaking of body parts or skewering of vital organs”, Alec groaned, “please. Let me deal with this.”

“Alec, if we'll let you deal with this, you're not gonna punch his face, but a wall until your fingers are broken.”

“Thank you, for that vote of confidence.” Alec just about managed to keep from flinching at the memory, Jace was referencing and instead locked eyes with his brother. “I want to handle this without any violence, period, and instead like grown-ups.”

“Right”, Izzy nodded, “I am not convinced.”

“And I am done debating this. The Magnus-chapter is over, has been for a while and closed I will leave it.”

But how dreams could betray you... As much as Alec meant what he told his siblings at dinner about the chapter being closed, his dreams had different ideas.

Golden eyes, shining, glinting with what Alec once upon a time would have called love, as soft lips chased his, trailed his jawline, his neck. Bejewelled hands roaming Alec's back, perfectly manicured nails clawing into his shoulders. Soft laughter interchanged with passionate kisses and almost desperate moans. Bodies pressed up against each other, urged by needs, ruled by desire. Loud cries of ecstasy, mingling with soft whispers of love confessions.

In short: the best damn four years of Alec's life.

From the first moment he and Magnus had met, things were electrified. Alec had been attracted to him from the moment he first saw him; he was smitten the moment Magnus smiled at him and after the first time they kissed, Alec was helplessly infatuated.

And the first year of their relationship had by no means been an easy one. Prompted by his new found love, Alec came out to his family. While his siblings were nothing but supportive, his parents were not. Over the years, Maryse did warm up to Magnus, Robert on the other hand was still apprehensive towards Alec and his sexuality. Alec was pretty sure that if he'd been with any other guy, the pressure of his family would have been enough to break Alec. But Magnus, he was so supportive, helped Alec through and made him see that Alec wasn't wrong, that his feelings were legit and that he should be proud of who he was.

Everything had been perfect, hell, Alec had the proposal planned out! And then he came back home, to their home, to find Magnus' stuff gone and a note on the bed.

Alec tried for weeks to reach him, get Magnus to at least talk to him, explain what had happened, but nothing. Either Magnus had changed his number or never picked up when he saw it was Alec calling.

All these desperate tries for contact only stopped, when Izzy and Jace secretly deleted Magnus' number from his phone, which, as hard as he tried, Alec couldn't remember completely.

With all these memories resurfacing, it took Alec unusually long that morning to get into work. But, after three coffees, he managed to focus on managing worker schedules and timetables. Until his door opened.

“I hope I'm not disturbing.”

“Yes, you are”, Alec answered without looking up at Magnus. “I have work to do.”

“I remember a time, when you preferred doing something else on that desk...”

“Well, I remember a time, when you promised me you'd never leave me”, Alec shot back and, as he looked up, he was slightly satisfied to see the smirk making way for a shameful, pained expression.

“You're right. You're right to be mad, to be angry, to be...”

“At the moment, I'm mostly busy. So...” Alec gestured at the door and Magnus shot him a look that once upon a time could have gotten Alec to do anything for Magnus. But Alec was done letting himself being manipulated like that, so he stayed still, not breaking eye contact and not making any move to give in.

“I understand”, Magnus eventually nodded. “Just... I'm staying at Catarina's. Once you're ready for explanations, please.”

“I'll consider it.”

“That's all I can ask.” After shooting him a last sad smile, Magnus turned and walked out. The moment the door closed behind him, all the energy seemed to leave Alec's body and he just dropped his head on the desk.

This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of Magnus to put Alec through all this again, just when he managed to get over it, over Magnus. It was selfish and egotistical, something Magnus wasn't. Of all the things Alec remembered him for, selfishness wasn't one of them.

Then again, a lot can happen in two years. Who's to say that this guy was still the sweet, generous and caring Magnus Alec had fallen in love with? And who's to say that all that genuine strength and all in all infectious light coming from him hadn't faded over the years?

“Dude, are you listening to me?”

The pat on his shoulder had Alec startle and he jumped up, ready to punch whoever dared to interrupt his emotional breakdown.

“It's just me.” Clary looked at him with wide eyes. “You alright?”

“What do you think?”, Alec shot back and dropped down on his chair again. As much as he had come to like his brother's girlfriend, he just wanted to be alone to wallow in his self-pity. Was that too much to ask?

“What's up?”, she asked and sat up on his desk. “That anything to do with me running into your reappeared ex just now?”

“Again”, he scoffed, “what do you think?”

“That you're right to be angry, hurt and pissed at him. That he fucked up, majorly. And that you deserve closure.”

“And how the hell am I supposed to get that?”

She put her hand over his, gently stroking the back of his hand with her thumb and locked eyes. “Talk it out. I know, I know”, she hurried to add as Alec motioned to protest, “I know talking sucks. But all that anger and hurt that's bottled up in there... You need to let it out. And as much as getting drunk with your siblings or punching someone in the face might help, it doesn't do it in the long run. So, go to him, and tell him.”

Alec was quiet for a moment. Yes, she was right, of course she was. Things between him and Magnus didn't end as much as they were over from one second to the next. Now, with him being back, there was at least the chance to properly end things.

“You know”, he eventually grumbled, “I liked it a lot more when you were just my colleague and I could tell you to shove it, without fear of my brother's wrath.”

“That I believe”, she laughed, throwing her head back. It was quite attractive, the way her hair flipped back and her eyes crinkled up. At least attractive to people who were into women. “But your life is a lot better having me in it”, she added with a grin, to which Alec only shot back a raised eyebrow.

“What did you come in here for then, Doctor Phil?”

“Like I said, I ran into Magnus. Thought it'd be best to check up on you.”

“That is so sweet”, he smiled and squeezed her hand.

“Alexander Lightwood, did you just smile at me?”, Clary goggled, biting down her grin.

“And there's the door.” He let go of Clary's hand and gestured towards door, trying not to shoot her too poisonous looks.

“No, Alec, we're having a breakthrough here”, she beamed, making no move to leave his office. “You actually smiled and were grateful for my presence!”

“And I am regretting it now, immensely. So, if you'd...”

But Clary already had her phone out.

“What are you...”

“Hey honey, yeah, whatever, listen. Alec just smiled at me! I know! Your brother does like me after all!”

The king of all eyerolls wasn't enough to express Alec's exasperation. While Clary still cooed to Jace about how Alec was really, really liking her, Alec got up, grabbed her by the arm and more or less gently guided her through his office door. “Bye.” And he closed the door between them.

Only when he sat behind his desk again, he allowed the grin to break through. Alec couldn't have in front of Clary, he did have a reputation after all. But she was right, Alec definitely came to like her. She was fierce, badass and made Jace so incredibly happy that there was no real reason for Alec to oppose her. Still, he was very protective of his siblings, and nobody would ever truly be good enough for them, even though Clary and Izzy's boyfriend Simon were pretty close to being ultimate in-law material.

And Clary was right, regarding the Magnus situation. There was a lot of need to get things out in the open. So, when he left work a few hours later, he didn't turn left towards his apartment, but right, towards Catarina's; with the queasiest feeling in his stomach.

It only dropped, when the door opened and Madzie's wide grin beamed up at him. “ALEC!”

“Madzie”, he grinned back and, when the girl jumped up into his arms, he almost forgot why it was that he came here. “How are you doing?”

“I'm good and you?”

“Really good.” With the girl on his hip, he walked into the apartment, where Catarina smiled over from her spot on the couch. “Hi Cat.”

“Alec, you're coming on Saturday, right?”

“As soon as you told me about your hockey game I marked it in bright red in my calendar.” He held his pinky finger up to wrap it around Madzie's. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

“Magnus said, he'd be my cheerleader”, she giggled on, thankfully missing Alec's face dropping at the mention of that name. “With pompoms!”

“That is awesome”, Alec forced himself to smile.

Without Magnus, Alec wouldn't have met Catarina and Madzie and, especially the quirky little girl had become one of his favourite people. So much so, that even after Magnus had left, Alec was regularly at Catarina's and made sure never to miss one of Madzie's games or recitals.

“Well, I am awesome.” Alec turned to see Magnus standing in the doorway. Wearing the same tight purple shirt with the black pants not hiding anything about his toned and muscular body, as he did this morning in Alec's office, and, of course, the jewellery matching everything to a T. A lot of things about Magnus weren't fair, one of them being that he always looked so damn hot, and especially that it still, despite everything that had happened, managed to send Alec's nerves into overdrive and, even if it was only a momentary lapse of judgement, Alec couldn't help but imagine ripping that damn shirt off Magnus.

“Madzie”, Catarina interrupted the silence, “we should get going. Uncle Ragnor invited us over, remember?”

“Can you two come as well?” Unaware of the tension and of what had happened, Madzie looked between Alec and Magnus with her huge puppy eyes and under normal circumstances, Alec wouldn't say no to anything Madzie asked.

“Next time, alright?”, Alec smiled and, just before he put her on the ground, he put a kiss on her cheek.

“Ok”, she nodded and grabbed Catarina's outstretched hand. “Bye Magnus! Bye Alec!”

After shooting Magnus a pointed look Alec did not miss, Catarina closed the door behind them, leaving Alec and Magnus alone.

No idea how to start this conversation, they just stared at each other. Once upon a time, these looks would have said more than thousands of words, but right now, Alec came up empty. Where he usually could read Magnus' mood with no problems at all, he only saw... Alec wasn't sure.

“Thank you for coming.” Magnus was the one to eventually break the tense silence.

“To make one thing clear, I'm not here to do you any favours.”

“I know you're not. I believe I owe you an apology.”

“I'd prefer an explanation.”

“Well”, Magnus shrugged, “it's a long story.”

“I've got time.”

His arms crossed in front of his chest, Alec did not leave Magnus out of his eyes; pretty sure he was almost staring him down. But he deserved to and Alec would not apologize for his right to an explanation.

“Right. You want to sit?” Magnus gestured at the couch.

“For fucks sake, Magnus, start talking.”

“Listen, there's a lot about my past you don't know, a lot I never told you and it kinda caught up with me. And it would have put you in the cross fire and I love you too much to...”

“But you love me enough to leave me, with nothing, but a little two liner?”, Alec yelled out. “You love me enough, to keep your past a secret from me? And then, once I sort of managed to move on, you dare to come back and fuck everything up again, because you love me so much?”

Whatever Magnus had to offer as explanation or excuses, Alec realized he didn't want to hear any of them. Instead, he was gonna let it all out, before he burst.

“Let me take you through the last two years.” He took a step towards Magnus. “I don't know if you remember, but that Friday, two days after you disappeared, where I had this nice date planned for us? Yeah, I was gonna ask you to marry me.” The pained expression on Magnus' face dropped into pure shock. “Exactly.”

Jace and Izzy had told him he was an idiot and masochist for keeping the ring in his office, but at least now he could just throw it all at Magnus, with all the pent up anger. He just slammed the little blue box down on the table, without breaking eye contact with Magnus, though.

“But, instead of the hoped for 'I do', I got a note. _'My dearest Alexander, I am endlessly sorry, but I have to leave. I can't even begin to describe my pain and sorrow that it has to be this way. I still love you and always will and hope that one day we'll see each other again.'.”_ Alec had read it so many times, he knew it by heart after two hours and if he closed his eyes, he could see Magnus' handwriting, the artfully swung letters.

“Yes”, he hissed, before Magnus could interject, “I memorized it. I don't know what you thought that writing me a fucking letter would be better than actually talking to me...”

“Because it hurt too fucking much!” Magnus cried out, interrupting him. “You don't understand, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and it broke my heart into a billion little pieces.”

“It broke your heart?” Oh, this was heading for disaster, Alec could feel it. But he couldn't stop. “Do you know what you put me through? What went through my mind? I thought it was my fault that you left, that you had the fuck enough of me and I wasn't worth you properly breaking up with me.”

“No, no, that's not...”

“I'm not done yet!”, he yelled and with every bit he stepped closer towards Magnus. “My anxiety went wild, thinking that maybe something had happened to you. You have no idea, how many nights I woke up, because I dreamt of you lying dead in a ditch, and I couldn't save you! What I fucking had to hear from my Dad, thinking that he was right and kept on saying how good it was that you were gone, that I could finally lead a normal life now. I fucking defended you in front of him, because after all that shit, I still fucking loved you: I excused all of your behaviour, defended you in front of Jace, of Izzy, everybody.”

Alec wasn't sure what really happened, but he found himself right in front of Magnus, who looked up with wide eyes. What was happening? Everything boiled to the surface, it almost felt like Alec's skin was crawling with fire, fire that needed an out. Right in front of Magnus like that, their faces mere centimetres apart, chests almost brushing up against each other... Before Alec knew it had happened, all that passionate manic energy was no longer fuelled by rage.

“Because”, he breathed after a moment, jabbing his finger at Magnus' chest, before grabbing his shirt, “because, after all you put me through, after everything, you're still the fucking love of my life.”

With that he pressed Magnus against the wall and his lips against Magnus'. The kiss was rough, tongues fighting for dominance, teeth scraping over skin, as Alec trailed his jaw. Magnus clawed into Alec's shirt, holding tightly as if he'd drop to the ground if Alec would let go of him.

As they stumbled towards Magnus' bedroom, Alec not gently unbuttoned Magnus' shirt. If any buttons ripped off, neither cared and they neither did when something seemed to rip as Magnus pulled off Alec's shirt.

Nothing about this was loving. They were instead fuelled by pent up anger and frustration. Where last time there were soft kisses, they were baring teeth; where last time there were gentle touches and strokes, there were nails clawing into bare skin. And where last time were whispered love confessions, moaning of names and loving smiles, there was nothing but voiceless panting.

It wasn't hate sex, for as much as he tried, Alec couldn't hate that beautiful man, but it had nothing to with love, either. It was purely animalistic, build up of tension that came crashing down, as they came undone.

It had nothing to do with love, when they drifted off into sleep, still entangled and curled up against each other.

And it definitely had nothing to do with love, when Alec, as he woke up, hurried to get his clothes and out of the flat before Magnus would wake up.

What the fuck did he just do? Ok, fine, Alec had been going through a dry spell for a while and sex with Magnus was just about the best thing on the planet, but seriously? Why the fuck would Alec get back into bed with him?

“Alec?” He tried to slip into his apartment and room unnoticed by his siblings, but no luck. “What's wrong?”

Jace and Izzy planted themselves in front of Alec, denying him any chance to escape.

“You slept with him.” Izzy stared at him with wide eyes and Alec was pretty sure it was a statement or accusation, rather than a question.

“What? No, Alec wouldn't be that stupid to... Oh, come on!”, Jace groaned, when Alec's face flushed for being caught, without even having said anything. Sometimes it really sucked that his siblings could read him like that.

“Right, that's gonna be a tough one. Jace get the Vodka and you're with me.” Izzy grabbed Alec's arm and pulled him to the couch.

“Can I please just...”

“No.” Izzy didn't even let him finish and pushed him down into the cushions. “We're not gonna let you wallow in self-pity, already did that for two years.”

“Fine...” Alec rolled his eyes but knew better than to try and start a discussion. Until Jace only came back with two glasses. “What, I don't get a drink?”

“I think we need it more”, his brother shrugged, handing Izzy a glass, which they both downed.

“Huh”, she sighed, “now I'm ready to listen to your reasoning for sleeping with your ex.”

“I don't know what to tell you”, Alec mumbled. “I came by Catarina's, so we could talk it out. Well, mostly I talked, involving a lot of yelling. And then... I don't know what came over me, but I guess rage is just another form of passion...”

“And do you feel better now?”

“Yes”, he deadpanned. “I feel fucking ecstatic. Which is why it'd be totally alright for you to let me go to my room, where I can best figure out a way to face him again.”

“Who says you have to?”

“Madzie's hockey game.” No matter how awkward it would be, even if it'd be downright terribly horrific, Alec would not let that little girl down.

“I need another one”, Izzy declared and held her glass out to Jace, who filled it right up again, before pouring some for him.

“For fuck's sake”, Alec groaned, grabbed the bottle out of Jace's hand and took a few generous sips. The burn in his throat was almost pleasant as was the warm feeling enveloping Alec's chest.

“Dude, you're not even in a relationship and it is more work than me sneaking Simon in and out of here for months...”

“Months?” Both brothers turned to Izzy. “I thought you were dating for like two or three weeks until we found you out?”

“Right, because you can only have sex when you're officially dating. Isn't that right, Alec?”

Amplified by alcohol, the heat and accompanying blush rose in Alec's face. “I should just break up with him, like properly.”

“And with that please just get rid of the engagement ring”, Jace pleaded. “If you're closing the chapter, close it for real.”

Shit. Only now, Alec was aware of the little blue box, still on the coffee table at Catarina's... Well, that was taken care of then. “Already got rid of it.”

“Where did you sell it?”

“I didn't”, he mumbled.

“Please tell me you did the dramatic thing and threw it into the East River...”

“Not exactly...”, Alec admitted, the blush reaching maximum intensity. “Kinda shoved it at Magnus earlier. But he can do with it what he wants”, he quickly added, when Izzy and Jace rolled their eyes, and downed their vodkas. “I've gotten rid of the thing. After Madzie's game I'll really break it off.”

“Congratulations!”, Alec laughed, when Madzie came running of the field, with the little trophy in her hands.

“Thanks!”, she squealed and showed the cup off to Catarina, Ragnor, Magnus and Alec. “I have to give it back right now, I just wanted to show you.”

“We're all so proud of you, honey”, Catarina smiled and kissed her daughter's head.

“You were amazing”, Magnus nodded along.

“You think you could teach this old man a few tricks?”, Ragnor asked and Madzie just beamed up.

“We can practise tomorrow! With you all!”, she decided and, after shooting them another wide grin, she ran back to her celebrating team.

“Well, if the past is anything to go by, they're gonna celebrate a while”, Catarina shrugged.

“Oh, do you remember the semi-finals last year?”, Alec recalled with a laugh.

“You mean when they started the ice cube battle with their trainer?” Ragnor joined in the laughter at the picture of the thirty-something year old trainer, soaking wet from head to toe, hugging each of the children until they were just as soaked as she was. Of course, Madzie had to come and put an ice cube down Alec's shirt, and he still hadn't found the right leverage to get Catarina to delete that picture of his face pulled into that shocked grimace.

As much as he tried to ignore him during the game, Alec couldn't help but feel a little bit sorry for Magnus, who stood by their side, a little lost, having missed out on so much in their lives. Then again, it was Magnus' fault in the first place.

Of course, Catarina noticed the looks on their faces and was probably very aware of what had happened in her guest room the other day. “Tell you what: me and Ragnor stay here and you two go and talk it out.”

Since her tone didn't really leave much room for discussion, Alec and Magnus made their way to Alec's car and silently drove off.

They were almost at Catarina's apartment complex, when Magnus spoke up. “Do you think we should talk about what happened?”

Alec had though about it a lot over the last few days, well, in all honesty it was the only thing he thought about. He had come to the simple conclusion: no. They were both consenting adults, and seeing Magnus again hadn't been as awkward as he feared, so Alec thought it best to leave it be, to remember it somewhat neutral. Which is what he told Magnus, then continued: “I think we should talk about what's happening next.”

Alec took a deep breath and continued, just as he drove into the car park by the building complex. “I know we're not really together. But maybe officially breaking up would do us both good.” Even though Alec focused on the narrow garage to find an empty parking space, he noticed Magnus' face dropping, with it the hope that maybe they could have worked this out.

“S'pose you're right”, he eventually mumbled, without looking up at Alec. “If that's what you need, then that's what we'll do.”

Alec brought the car to a halt and turned to Magnus. “I thought a lot about what I need. And I decided I don't need apologies, explanations or shit like that, I need closure.”

“Right.” Feeling Alec's eyes on him, Magnus turned to Alec, nodding his understanding. “Then I guess we're officially breaking up now.”

“We are.”

As soon as he said it, some of the tension seemed to vanish from Alec's shoulders and he could lean back a little more relaxed. He didn't break his gaze with Magnus though who, although they had arrived, didn't motion to leave the car.

As it had been last time they were face to face, Alec couldn't read Magnus' look. There was the obvious, sadness, even a bit of pain that things between them were really, truly over. But there was something else, something in his look that Alec couldn't put his finger on.

Alec did not get the chance to dwell on it any longer, as Magnus suddenly moved and his lips were on Alec's. Barely realizing he was doing it, Alec put a hand on Magnus neck, pulling him closer, and he climbed over onto Alec's lap, with their lips locked at all times. The hungrier and more passionate their kisses grew, the tighter they pressed against each other.

Wide eyed, with reddish swollen lips, Magnus looked down on Alec, hungrily, and moments later they lips met again, in a rough, animalistic kiss. Being pinned down, Alec could do nothing but surrender to Magnus' body, his movements, the hands holding tightly onto Alec's shoulders and the lips that only left Alec's, when he kissed down his neck and pressed his face against Alec's shoulder to stifle any moans and cries.

Alec returned the favour, his face pressed against the chest looming above him, clawing into Magnus' back for dear life, holding him as close as he could, desperate for as much of Magnus as he could get; desperate to burn the memory of Magnus' touch into his skin.

Coming back down, Magnus' lips found Alec's again, so much more tender and softer, almost reminiscent of what used to be.

“Broken up, hey?”, Magnus mumbled after a while, barely more than a hoarse whisper.

“Yeah”, was all Alec got out.

It felt like hours that they sat in silence, holding each other close, their laboured breaths the only sound in the car, which too went quieter and more even after a while.

“I should probably go.”

“Yeah.”

Magnus rolled off Alec once more and, after making sure that everything that had to be dressed was dressed, he climbed out of the car. “Guess I'll see you around.”

The sound of the car door closing echoed for minutes through Alec's head, as he tried to form a coherent thought. When at last the white noise in his head ebbed enough for him to at least be able to focus on traffic, he pulled out of the car park and drove back home, where thankfully, he could slip into his room unnoticed.

With a deep sigh he fell on the bed, intent on staying there until he had to get back to work on Monday morning, if not for a weird clanging noise.

It was a little blue box, _the_ little blue box, that had fallen out of his coat pocket. _'You should keep it, so you one day can give it to a person that actually deserves you',_ read the note, that was fastened on it, in Magnus' beautiful almost calligraphy-like writing.

For the first time in two years, Alec opened the box, something he hadn't dared to do since the night he found that note. As flashy as Magnus was about his style and especially his accessories, Alec had opted for something a little more classic. It was a silver band, a simple black coloured line carved into it. It was the inside that mattered though. Once he had gotten it out, Alec let the box drop on the ground again.

' _Aku Cinta Kamu'._ Gently, Alec traced the carving of the declaration of his love. The love that was his and Magnus' and only theirs. Or at least it had been theirs. As hard as he searched his feelings, Alec wasn't sure if he still loved him. There were just so many feelings, he had a hard time deciphering them. Clearly, Magnus still had an inexplicable hold over Alec, and a kiss was enough to light enough passion to power a small town.

How much further than physicality did it go, though? Alec was pretty sure he didn't trust Magnus any more. A mutual understanding wasn't in the cards either, and neither was faith.

So that's what it was, then. A physical attraction, drawing Alec in, whenever he and Magnus were around each other, always ending with them naked, craving the other's touch, even wanton. It was a game that kept on repeating itself almost every time Magnus and Alec ran into each other over the following weeks.

“This being broken up thing is really working out for us, huh?”, Magnus remarked, rolling on his side to face Alec.

Alec still was a little too breathless for proper talking, and his brain still wasn't quite able to form any coherent thought beyond: ' _fuck, that was good.'_

Catarina's birthday had been a pretty nice party, but of course, fuelled by alcohol it didn't take too long for Alec and Magnus to disappear into Magnus' room. And now they lay side by side, panting, sweating, like they had so many times, with one big difference: they weren't touching. It might be weird to say that about the guy he's having sex with, but Alec was careful not to be too intimate with Magnus, that is emotionally intimate or vulnerable.

During sex, he was happy for every bit of Magnus he could touch, every touch of Magnus' set his entire body on fire. But once the high had gone down again... They never talked about it, but Magnus seemed to have noticed it and kept his distance afterwards.

“I guess this falls more under the category of friends with benefits than ex-boyfriends”, Alec eventually remarked.

“It's probably all shades of wrong for me to bring this up now, but I'd love to see your Dad's face when you tell him that we're fuck-buddies.”

“Omigod.” Alec just snorted a laugh at the though of that. “Never gonna happen. I'm not putting anybody through my Dad's homophobia unless that somebody is a serious contender for happily ever after.”

“Well.” Magnus got up and got to dressing himself again. “Then I'm happy, I at least was once a contender in the run for your life.” He shot him a weak smile, that failed horribly at masking his sadness and pain, before he turned and left Alec by himself again.

Fuck. Maybe, they just shouldn't talk after sex. That only seemed to help further the confusion of emotional turbulences.

Once he was dressed, he walked back out towards the party, just to be stopped in front of Madzie's door.

“Alec?” The girl glanced through the ajar door.

“Honey, you're supposed to be asleep! What's wrong, had a nightmare?”

She silently nodded and Alec slipped into the room and scooped the girl up in his arms.

“Well, then I'll protect you now”, he decided as he carried her back to her bed.

“Come here.” She scooted all the way to the wall to make enough room for Alec to lie down next to her. Even though her bed was a little short for his long legs, and he wasn't the biggest fan of pink princess bedding, it was actually quite comfortable. And when the girl snuggled against his side, nothing else mattered any more.

“Do you want me to read you a story?”

Completely ignoring his question she looked up. “Can I ask you something?”

“Everything.”

“Are you and Magnus not in love any more?”

“No, sweetheart, we're not.”

“Why?”

That was a talk he really could do without, especially with a ten year old. “A lot of difficult things happened over the last years, you know, when he was not here, and I guess it just happened.”

“It's so stupid that he had to go away”, Madzie decided. “He and Mum argue about it all the time.”

“They do?”

“Yeah”, she nodded, “when they think I'm in bed and asleep. Mum is really cross with him. Are you cross with him?”

“No”, Alec answered honestly. “I was cross, when he left for so long, but I'm not cross any more.” It was true. Maybe his anger and rage had been powered out these last two months in bed with Magnus, but it had gradually gone down and Alec could in all honesty say that he wasn't angry any more. There were a lot of feelings, but no anger. “Are you cross with him?”

“A bit”, she admitted, “because he left, just like Dad, left and...”

“Honey, Magnus is not like your Dad”, Alec assured her and wiped the tear from her cheek. “Magnus loves you so much. And I do, too. And so does Ragnor. You got like three uncles, that's pretty fancy.”

Wide eyed she looked up, before the grin broke through and she started giggling. “That's really fancy.”

“So, how about a story, and then it's sleepy time?”

“Sleepy time is for babies”, she shot back, “and I'm already ten.”

“You're right”, Alec answered, fighting to keep the grin down. “Well, I call it bedtime. That cool enough for a ten year old?”

“Yes”, she decided. “And you can still read me a story.”

“Then that I'll do”, he smiled and grabbed the book that laid by her bedside. “Oh, The Hobbit, I love this book!”

“Me too”, she grinned, “Mum is already reading it for the fourth time. We're just coming to the part with Gollum and the riddles.”

“That's my favourite part!” He opened the book, putting the delicate flower book mark out of harm's way and started reading: “When Bilbo opened his eyes, he wondered if he had; for it was just as dark as with them shut. No one was anywhere near him. Just imagine his fright!”

_._

Alec was woken by a loud bang, probably a door slamming. It took him a moment to get used to the darkness around him and for him to realize that he was still folded into Madzie's bed, the girl halfway on his stomach. Fortunately the noise hadn't woken her and Alec was careful as he climbed out and tiptoed out into the living room. The party must have been over for quite a while, only Catarina was still there, curled on the couch.

“Hey Cat, everything alright?”

“Yeah”, she nodded, but Alec didn't quite buy it. “Thanks for looking after Madzie.”

“Of course, I love that girl and reading The Hobbit.” He made himself comfortable next to her, happy to stretch his legs out after being squashed in the small bed. “You want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Whatever has you upset”, he explained.

“Not sure you're the one I should talk with...”, she shrugged and took a sip from her cup, that Alec hadn't even noticed until now.

“So I assume it's about Magnus.” He took her silence as affirmative answer. “Madzie told me that you two fight a lot. Which I get, I'm by no means the only one he screwed over and I think I should really apologize for not realizing how hard this must be for you.” With a gentle squeeze to her hand, Alec hoped to communicate all the sincerity.

“Thanks”, she smiled and squeezed his hand right back. “It's not like I was planning to propose to him, but yeah, I believe I got reason to be mad.”

“You do”, he assured her, deciding to ignore the fact that he never told Cat about the proposal. She probably saw the ring, after Alec had left it here the other day.

“Are you still angry, or have you already dealt with all that passion another way?”

Alec blushed, and looked down on his lap, not sure he could hold Catarina's gaze. “I don't think I'm that mad any more. Guess, I'm resigned to the fact that things between us are purely physical.”

“You sure?”

“I am”, he nodded, “at least for my part. With him left all trust, mutual understanding and faith in him. How the fuck am I supposed to love someone I don't trust?”

“Is that why you don't want any explanations?”

“I'm feeling like I'm on a psychiatrist's couch”, he chuckled.

“I don't want to psychoanalyse you”, Catarina defended herself. “But if a guy can go from 'I wanted to propose' to 'I'm not mad any more'...”

“If your conclusion is that I'm just hiding every emotion behind sex... Fine, I'm not gonna argue you on that. But it's really just sex.”

“Right then. Unfortunately, me and Magnus don't have that, so all our emotions are all pretty bare.”

“I can imagine it's tough, having him on your couch.”

With a deep sigh, Catarina leaned over, against Alec's side and he put his arm around her. “You know I love that guy, he's one of my favourite people. He just doesn't let anyone help him and it's such a fight to get him to open up...”

“Tell me about it”, Alec scoffed, “I think we were already living together, when I found out about what his step-dad did to him. But that's why I feel I'm better off without hearing his story; he's not gonna tell me everything anyway, so why bother with half-truths?”

“Good point.”

As they sat in silence, Alec thought over what he just said. Were his trust-issues the only reason he didn't want to know about the past? Or was he just scared of the truth? Magnus did mention something about his past catching up with him. As long as Alec didn't know about that though, it wouldn't tarnish the years they had together, when everything was red roses and cocktails.

Would it change anything in their current relationship, if Alec knew? Maybe he wouldn't want to be around Magnus at all after finding out, which would be a shame since their current situation worked out rather nicely for Alec. It wasn't optimal. Still, allowing him to have just enough of Magnus without losing himself in the process was the best deal in a crappy situation, so until Alec was ready to either end it, or hear Magnus out, it was what he'd stick with.

“You're welcome to sleep here”, Cat offered, when she made her way to her bed.

“Thanks”, he smiled back, “don't really feel like driving home right now.” He grabbed the blanket that hung over the back of the couch he had slept so often on.

“Sleep well, then.”

The lights went out, Cat's bedroom door closed and Alec was left by himself in the living room, somehow wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

Well, there was one sure fire way to tire him out... As quietly as he could he tiptoed over to the guest room and slipped inside. Just as Alec had done moments ago, Magnus lay on the bed, silently staring at the ceiling, only sitting up, when Alec came inside.

“Can't sleep?”

“Nope.” Alec walked over, sat next to Magnus on the bed.

The few seconds as they just stared at each other was enough communication, so neither was very surprised when before long they were tangled up in each other, their clothes thrown across the room with probably a few less buttons on them. They were almost silent, except for laboured breaths and the creaking of the bed; almost silent when they found their climax, almost silent when they fell back on the bed and soon enough dozed off.

Catarina barely raised an eyebrow at Alec, as he made his way out of Magnus' room the next morning, probably having expected that to happen. Alec just blushed, but was glad she didn't say anything. He decided that it'd be best if he were on his way anyway, before he'd sleep with Magnus for a third time in less than 8 hours.

The hope that Alec could just forget about Magnus for a while and just go on with his life was squashed the moment he walked into the apartment. Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon were sitting on the couch, looking at him expectantly. Fuck.

“What's this then?”, he asked, gesturing at the four.

“An intervention.”

“Oh fuck no”, Alec groaned but, before he could turn and walk off to his room, Jace grabbed him by the arm.

“Oh fuck yes”, he made clear and pulled Alec behind him. “You're gonna listen to what we have to say. Because we're fucking worried about you.”

“There's no need to be.” Alec had no idea how to make them understand that he had things with Magnus under control.

“Magnus is like a drug to you. You think that yeah, once or twice ain't bad, until you lose yourself in trying to chase the high.”

“Right, I'm an addict”, Alec scoffed.

“Yes, you are”, Simon made clear. “After having watched my Mum going through all that, trust me, I recognize the signs. Your next argument will be that it's not like you're hurting anyone, since you and Magnus are both consenting adults. Besides you've got it totally under control and you could stop any time you wanted to, right?”

Oh, fuck. Simon hit bull's eye. Alec wasn't really in the mood to give him credit or anything. He just motioned to protest, when Simon continued talking. “And now you're gonna protest, saying that it's not like that and that we have no idea what you're going through and how you're feeling and that we wouldn't act any differently if we were in your position.”

Izzy grabbed Simon's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and some of the tension released from his shoulders. Having watched his Mum go through addiction and fighting to stay dry, this was a sensitive topic for him.

“I appreciate what you're doing”, Alec forced himself to smile; maybe the amicable and understanding route would get him out of this and into the privacy of his room.

“But”, Simon continued his comment, “Magnus isn't an addiction, it's just a bad habit, right?”

He didn't even give Alec the chance to justify his actions, and continued right away. “You're an addict in denial and Magnus is your drug. You can argue it all you want, but it won't change the truth. Please, just get it, before you lost yourself completely in whatever you're trying to tell yourself that this relationship is.”

Fuck. That was real, a lot realer than he bargained for. And a lot deeper than he ever would have given Simon credit to be.

Was he right, though? Was Alec addicted to Magnus? Just a few hours ago he had told Catarina that he had his feelings under control, only to slip into Magnus' bed a few minutes later. Fuck.

“Alright. I'll keep it in mind.” From the looks on his friends and siblings' faces, Alec was pretty sure they didn't buy a word of what he was saying. But there was nothing else he could say. Yes, being with Magnus was like a rush, a high, that's what he did come back for. But it wasn't like it would kill him and since he probably wasn't in love with Magnus any more, it wouldn't break his heart either. Also they were broken up and Alec was adamant about the romantic and emotional distance they were keeping.

So what, if his body enjoyed it? He had the damn right to enjoy himself and do what and whoever he pleased.

Izzy looked like she heard every thought that went through Alec's head in the last few silent moments. “You're a damn masochist, you know that?”

“Probably, or I wouldn't have moved in with you two”, he joked, but was met with a wall of frustration.

“It's not funny, Alec. We're seriously worried about you.”

“And that means the world to me. I just don't understand how having great sex is bad for me.”

“It's not what you're doing, it's who you're doing”, Clary tried one more time. “Would you be happy if Izzy had kept on doing Meliorn after they broke up?”

Fuck, Clary had a point. Meliorn had lied and lied to his little sister, not unlike Magnus had lied to him.

“Suggestion: how about you ask Magnus about everything that has happened, about his reasons for leaving and where he's been the last few years. If you still want to fuck him, you're either a lost cause or there's more to your relationship than you're letting on.”

Izzy, always the pragmatic. It was a good point, that exactly hit Alec's fear: what if he didn't want to be with Magnus any more after he knew what happened? What if his secrets, his story was too much for Alec to handle?

“Just FYI”, Simon shrugged, “if you're scared to ask Magnus out of fear you'll lose your fix, you're most definitely hooked.”

Sometimes Alec really hated his friends for knowing him like that.

“I'll talk to him”, he promised, since this was the only way he could get out of this and hoped to everything that they would just believe him, even if Alec himself wasn't sure if he meant it.

“I'll believe that when I see it”, Jace scoffed. “But alright. We've said our piece, the next step is on you.”

Not sure what to say, Alec just nodded and hesitantly got up. But nobody stopped him as he made his way to his bedroom, where he dropped on his bed. Out of the bedside table he got the ring out, tracing the carvings.

 _Aku Cinta Kamu._ I love you.

Was Magnus just his drug, his way of getting high? If yes, then playing with the ring was like a smoker flicking his lighter.

Alec had meant it, when he broke up with Magnus, putting all that behind himself, or so he thought. But if he really meant it, then he shouldn't be afraid of learning the truth. Right then. Proofing his innocence to himself or to his sibling, Alec wasn't sure, but it had to end, now.

.

 **Alec:** Central Park in thirty minutes

 **Magnus:** I'll be there.

.

“And where are you going?”, Jace called out, when Alec headed for the door, not fifteen minutes after coming back home.

“To find out the truth”, he answered, didn't bother to give them any chances for further examination and walked out.

Gapstow Bridge was his destination. He didn't have to tell Magnus, he knew since it had always been their spot, as stereotypically kitschy as it was. There they had their first kiss, Magnus had asked Alec about moving in together and it was there that Alec wanted to propose. It would be only right to end everything there as well.

When he arrived, Magnus was already there, sitting on the balustrade.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Alec sat himself down next to Magnus. With his longer legs they were barely dangling, more scraping on the stone underneath them. It was really nice, actually. Not a lot of people were around and Alec and Magnus really had the chance for a proper conversation.

“I changed my mind.”

“About what?” Magnus looked over, somewhat curios and, if Alec read it right, a sliver of hope.

“About what happened.” After a deep sigh he turned to Magnus. “I want to know what happened, I deserve to know the truth. All of it.”

“Oh.” Magnus' head dropped and he fidgeted with his fingers. “Yeah, I guess you do. Do you mind a question first, though?”

Alec gestured for Magnus to ask ahead, who looked back up at Alec. “Can I ask you what changed?”

Now it was Alec who looked away. “I didn't want to know these last few weeks, because what if I didn't like what I'd hear? What if I really don't want anything to do with you any more? When I got home from Cat's earlier, my siblings had staged an intervention, telling me that this” - he gestured between them - “is nothing but an addiction, chasing some high. And I guess I didn't want to know because I was scared the knowledge wouldn't balance out with the rush of being with you. So I guess I just want to proof to them and myself that this, our... thing, isn't like playing with fire because I need the fix.”

“Catarina had a similar theory”, Magnus shrugged after Alec's speech had sunken in. “Guess our friends do know us better than we know ourselves.”

“But that's the reason I want to know. I feel like I don't know you any more”, Alec blurted out. “I look at you...” He turned and locked eyes with Magnus. “I once could read that face like an open book. And now there's so much I don't understand.”

“I get that.” Magnus quickly turned his head, but the hurt was clear for even Alec to see. “Right. Chances are you might not want to be around me any more after I told you this, but that's a chance I'll have to take. So, I'll start from the beginning. That is about 10, 15 years ago. I told you about the deal with my dad, right?”

Alec nodded. He knew the story of Magnus' stepdad, blaming Magnus for his Mum's suicide and letting it out on the teen. Magnus had told him, when Alec discovered the scar on his back.

“Well, once that came out and he went to jail, I ended up on the streets, but not for long. I know I said I came to live with a foster family, but...” Magnus took a deep breath and looked back up. He just motioned to speak, when the shame in his face dropped and turned into shock and what almost looked like fear.

“NOOO!”, he cried out and pushed Alec back.

“What the...” Before Alec really knew what had happened, he found himself on the way down and splashing into the pond.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”, he yelled as he came up, spluttering and gasping for breath. “Magnus! What the fuck did you do that for?”

But no answer came from the bridge and Magnus didn't sit on the balustrade where he had been a few moments ago any more.

Great. Fucking fantastic. So much for telling Alec the truth... Barely started and he pushes him off the fucking bridge to get away? That was a whole 'nother level of cowardice that Alec did not expect from Magnus.

Dripping from head to toe, he climbed out of the water and headed back up the bridge, when all the air was sucked from his lungs at the sight in front of him. “No!” What was supposed to be a scream only came out a hoarse whimper. With two big steps, he was by Magnus' side, who lay on the ground, bleeding, barely awake.

“Hey, Magnus, it's gonna be alright, you're gonna be fine”, Alec kept on repeating, not sure whether he tried to assure Magnus or himself. “I'm gonna get help right away.”

With his phone in the pond somewhere, he got Magnus' phone to dial 911, which he just managed to do with the tears blurring his vision.

“Alexander...”

“It's gonna be fine”, Alec repeated and finally the fucking first response picked up. After more or less crying out the situation and location, Alec dropped the phone and pressed down on Magnus' side, that was bleeding so fucking much... Alec almost got sick.

“I'm sorry”, Magnus choked out.

“It's ok”, Alec repeated, cupping Magnus' cheek with one hand. “You don't have to be sorry right now. Just stay with me and then we'll talk once you're rested, ok? And I promise, I'll be right there with you.”

Magnus managed a weak smile as his eye lids dropped. “I love you.”

“Magnus? Magnus, stay with me, damnit! You're not getting out of telling your story that easily!”

But there was no more reaction from Magnus. Before his panic could overrun him, Alec checked to find a pulse and that he was still breathing. Both extremely weak, but still, a pulse.

It felt forever until he heard the ambulance coming towards them, time in which Alec kept Magnus close, kept pressure on the wound and kept on telling Magnus how he'd be alright again and how everything would be fine, all that while unholy amounts of tears streamed down his face.

And then everything happened at once. Magnus was heaved on a gurney and was pushed away. “Please, let me come he... he's my boyfriend”, he eventually got out pleading with the paramedics to take him along and succeeded, probably out of fear that Alec would hurt himself if they left him behind. They were probably right in that assessment. He sat by Magnus' head as they rushed through New York. He pretty much ignored what the medics did, until they turned to him. “Can you tell us what happened?”

Alec just shook his head. “We were talking and suddenly, he pushes me off the bridge”, he got out between sobs. “When I climbed back out...”

“I assume that he saved your life then”, one paramedic smiled, patting Alec's shoulder somewhat reassuringly.

Alec didn't really process it though. All that mattered was the man in front of him and the fact that his chest kept on rising and falling with weak, but steady breaths. With one hand, he stroked Magnus' head, while he wiped his tears off with the other.

When they arrived at the hospital, Alec switched to automated actions. He just had to follow Magnus, so he could keep his promise to stay with him. But, once they arrived in front of the operating theatres, he was held back.

“I'm sorry, but you can't go beyond this point.”

“No, no, you... you don't understand”, Alec stammered, “I promised.”

“I understand, but sir, this is an operating theatre, I have to ask you to wait for your boyfriend's surgery to finish. Afterwards you can sit with him.”

“No, please”, he begged, his voice almost giving out. “I need to be...”

“For now I need you to go with my colleague.” Alec hadn't even realized the nurse coming up on his side.

“I'm Ellen Carruthers. Please, if you'd follow me so you can get cleaned and into a change of clothes.”

Alec looked down himself and only now remembered that he was still soaked from his involuntary bath, and all that mixed with blood. So much blood...

“Ok”, he agreed, having no strength left to fight. “But then...”

“Afterwards you can come right back here”, Nurse Carruthers assured him.

“Ok.”

According to the clock on the wall the operation lasted somewhat around three hours, but to Alec it felt like days. He couldn't sit still, kept on pacing along the hallway in his not exactly perfectly fitting hospital outfit, until a man showed up by his side.

“Alexander Lightwood I presume?” The man smiled at Alec, but nothing about the smile was friendly.

“You're Asmodeus, head of the Indonesian mob.” Alec wasn't sure what to make of the mafia boss, he had heard so much about in the news; he really had Al Capone levels of mobster fame. What the fuck did he want here, and what the fuck did he want with Alec?

“Oh, it pains me that this is the only thing you know of me; we should have met long ago. Let me properly introduce myself. My full name is Asmodeus Bane.” He held his hand out to Alec, who didn't quite believe what happened in front of him.

“You're Magnus'...”

“Father, yes, that's me.”

Magnus' birth father. Who, according to Magnus, had died many many years ago, when Magnus was just a child. And now he stood next to Alec, very much alive and very fucking smug.

“It's so unfortunate what happened. As awkward as it might be to say this the first time meeting my son-in-law, but that bullet was meant for you...”

“Excuse me, what?”

“You heard me”, the man shrugged. “I had a deal with Magnus and he broke it. But, of course, he has to jump in, doesn't he?”

Asmodeus seemed to be more concerned about the bullet hitting the wrong person than his own fucking son, currently fighting for his life!

“That's what worries you?”, Alec hissed, “not the fact that your own son might be dying?”

“That's the take away?” Asmodeus turned to Alec, his eyebrows raised. “Interesting”, he mused, as a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“What is?”

“That you just brushed past my deal with Magnus and instead worry about the guy, who, and I quote, _after all he put you through, after everything, is still the fucking love of your life._ ” He shot Alec some exaggerated heart eyes, as he sighed dramatically at that.

“How do you know what I said to him?”

“Darling, you know who I am. I'm sure you can imagine the sort of resources at my disposal.”

He bugged Catarina's place, he probably bugged his own apartment as well!

“You son of a bitch”, Alec growled. “You better get to the fucking point before I punch you in the face or call the cops.”

“Adorable, really, but that would most definitely backfire for you. My friends are more powerful than yours...”

“What do you want? Because you sure as fuck aren't here for Magnus.”

“I'm here to get to know the man that has stolen my son's heart.” That smile sent shivers down Alec's spine, more creepy was probably not possible.

“Well, I don't feel the need to get to know you, so you're welcome to just go.” With that, Alec turned away from Asmodeus and back towards the door, separating him from Magnus. Who had taken a bullet for him.

“Maybe you don't want to get to know me”, Asmodeus mused, still not fucking off. “But I do know what happened the last few years and I do know why Magnus is lying in there with a bullet to his torso.”

Fuck. Asmodeus had him, and he knew it. Alec just wanted to wipe that damn smug grin of his face, as he turned back to face the older man, with his arms crossed.

“Please, I believe it'd be best if we talked a little privately.”

“I'm not leaving, because unlike you, I actually care about him.”

“Ouch! But I wasn't planning on taking you away; there's a private room, just to your right we can occupy for a bit.”

“And what keeps you from shooting me now?” As little of a fuck as Alec gave about Asmodeus, he did already confess to wanting Alec dead.

“You're smarter than I thought”, he grinned. “Fine, we'll stay here. Do you have a specific question you'd like answered?”

“Just talk.”

“Right then, getting straight to the point, a man after my liking. Well, after that very ugly business with Magnus' stepfather, I figured the boy needed a father to take care of him. So I took him in again. And he was good at taking care of business. Don't worry”, he hurriedly added, when Alec's face fell, “he worked in my legal businesses.” Alec doubted that anything Asmodeus did was legal, but at least legal enough for him to launder his money.

“Until one day, he found a document that might not have been all that flattering. See, Magnus' mother might not have exactly killed herself, but it's all very hard to proof. Which is what I tried to explain to my son, but he left, took off to New York City.”

What an asshole. He had his ex-wife murdered?

“I lost sight of him for a while; it took my guys about five years to find him again. And what they told me, about my dear Magnus, in a committed relationship, in love, living with his boyfriend, who was actually about to propose... Oh, it all but broke my heart. For you see, where I'm from, family is important to me. “

_Unless it's your ex-wife, her you have killed._

“And I knew, the only way to get Magnus to come back to me, was if things with you ended. Now I had the choice: do I get you to break his heart, or his to break yours? I first of all thought about approaching you. If you ended things, he'd come running back to me, without too much prompting. But once he'd be over you, he'd leave me again, and the game would start anew. But if I threatened to take away what he loved most...” That devilish grin spread over Asmodeus' face again. “So it was simple. I told him that if he wouldn't come back to me, to the family, you'd be sleeping with the fishes.” He looked so proud about the Godfather quote, but Alec only felt sick.

“For two years he was back at his old position, still not taking part in anything illegal, but working side by side with my son... Ah, it was wonderful. I still had my guys in the city keeping an eye on you and well, to say it wasn't heartbreaking to watch you all lost and alone, would be a lie. But of course, Magnus just can't keep it in his pants”, he tutted, offering Alec a half-hearted shrug. “I'm terribly sorry for coming after you, but a deal is a deal, and I am a man of my word.”

“What”, Alec scoffed, when Asmodeus shot him an expectant grin. “Do you want me to thank you for putting a hit out on me?”

“I guess not... But I can offer you this little solace: Magnus has stayed faithful to you throughout the years; there was nobody else, he loves only you.”

“At least he knows what love is”, Alec shot at the man, who raised a surprised eyebrow. “You don't love Magnus, no matter how much you tell yourself you do. What you feel for him is possessiveness. But Magnus isn't just an object, not just a pawn for you to push and pull over the board as you please.”

“And what do you presume to know about my feelings? How do you know a father's love?”

“I don't”, Alec made clear, locking eyes with Asmodeus. “I don't because my father doesn't really love me, either. Because if he did, if you loved Magnus like a father should, our happiness would be more important to you than your thought-up claim of ownership. And now, if you'd excuse me.” With that, Alec turned and walked away, not gracing Asmodeus with so much as another glance.

.

The doctor had said that the operation was a success, that everything went perfectly well and that Magnus would wake up in a couple of hours, once the anaesthetics had worn off.

Alec would believe it the moment he actually saw Magnus opening his eyes, but allowed that bit of hope. So he stayed by his bedside, never leaving. And neither did Asmodeus. He didn't come inside, but he stayed close; every now and then Alec caught his eye as he walked past Magnus' room, looking through the little window.

Those were some intense few hours and Alec had no fucking clue how to take any of this.

So, Magnus was the son of the modern day Pablo Escobar. Which in itself was already quite the pill to swallow, if it weren't also for the fact that the Al Capone of the 21st century had a hit out on Alec. And there he was a few hours ago, thinking that liking sex with his ex too much was the biggest issue he had to face.

“Seriously, Magnus, what the fuck?”, he just sighed, grabbing the still hand. “I mean, I knew you were trouble when you walked into my life, all glittery and dramatic... Sure, my Dad hates you just as much as yours hates me, but at least Robert didn't put a hit out on you!”

Not sure where it came from, but a chuckle bubbled through and Alec couldn't help a soft laugh. “Shit, I wanted to break up with you today, like properly. Not like last time, but for reals. And then you go ahead and take a fucking bullet for me. A literal fucking bullet! I still don't get why you'd come back to me, knowing that Tony Soprano would follow. Doesn't matter now, what does is that the surgery went well and that you're gonna be alright. And I'm sure we'll be alright too. So, you can get your beauty sleep without any worry, because I'm not going anywhere.”

And that Alec kept. He sat by Magnus' side, not letting go of his hand, as the hours ticked by. The sun was about to set, when someone knocked on his door. Oh fuck, Alec really didn't want to go another round with Asmodeus, but it was Izzy who put her head through the door. “Can I come in?”

Alec nodded and she hurried over to his side, wrapping Alec up in her arms. “What happened?”

“Long story”, Alec sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned into his sister's touch. “Better question: how are you here?”

“You know, I have these two amazing things called feet”, she explained and grinned at his eye roll. “None of us had heard from you after you left head over heels like that and nobody could reach you either. We eventually called Catarina, who said you're here.”

“Yeah, sorry, my phone is somewhere underneath Gapstow Bridge. Went swimming earlier”, he shrugged at her confused grimace, “felt like a nice way to commemorate Magnus taking a bullet for me.”

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, would you please tell me what the fuck happened?”

“So, when you came over, you didn't happen to walk past anybody... curious?”

“No, not except for the guy from the wanted poster hanging all over the precinct. Shit, what?”

“So, apparently the Don's full name is Asmodeus Bane.”

“Oh, Alec!” Izzy flopped down on his lap, wrapping herself a little tighter around him. “Magnus is his son, isn't he?”

“Yup. And apparently they have sort of a deal: Magnus stays with the mob, or I'll get... well, you know.” Alec had to gulp at that. It still felt somewhat surreal, being on the mafia's wanted list and as real as the bullet going through Magnus' torso and Asmodeus' earlier threat were, Alec still didn't fully grasp it.

“So why the fuck aren't you leaving?”

“Because...” Why wasn't he? “Because that bullet was supposed to hit me. Because Magnus jumped in and saved my life. Because I don't give a fuck about Asmodeus right now, which he knows, I told him that. Because I promised Magnus I would stay by his side. Because...”

“Because you still love him.” Izzy finished his sentence he didn't dare to finish.

“Maybe.” He buried his face in the crook of Izzy's neck. “I don't know any more. There was just too much that happened in the last few hours and I'm honestly glad I remember my own name at this point.”

“That I believe. And can I say you're equally brave and idiotic for telling Asmodeus of all people to fuck off.”

“It definitely felt good”, he chuckled.

“I'm sure it did”, she grinned back. “So, listen, are you gonna be alright by yourself? My break's almost over and I need to get back to the precinct.”

“Don't worry about me”, Alec assured her, “I'm not going away.”

“That's what concerns me”, she shrugged and put a kiss on his temple. “I'll check in with you later. And so might Jace, Si and Clary.”

“Sure thing.”

“Say hi to Magnus when he wakes up.”

“I will”, he nodded and waved after Izzy, as she left the two alone again.

“Hey”, he smiled as he turned back to Magnus, “at least she didn't bite my head of at the mention of me... you know, maybe, possibly still harbouring some kind of feelings for you.”

It was so easy to say all this to an unconscious Magnus, maybe enough so that it would be great practice for their inevitable talk once Magnus was fit again.

“Because I do. There are so many feelings where you're involved that I tend to lose track of them all. And I can't tell you what they all are. There are some positive ones, some very much not positive ones and so many in between...”

Brushing his thumb over the back of Magnus' hand, he just took him in, took everything about him in he could.

He looked so different from the confident man he always projected to the outside world. The usually perfectly styled hair was wild, the blueish strand had washed out, remaining somewhat blackish like the rest of his hair. As hot as Magnus looked with his makeup and jewellery on, he looked so beautiful just like that.

Magnus just was a beautiful man, inside even so much more than outside, if such a thing were possible. Once upon a time it was enough for Alec to fall helplessly in love with him. Was it still enough for him to forgive?

.

It was hour three-and-a-bit post op, that Magnus' eyes fluttered open.

“Hey Magnus”, Alec smiled, endlessly relieved that he was up.

“Mhm, hi”, Magnus sighed, clearly still a little out of it. He patted around himself, and once he managed to actually open his eyes, he took the room in. “Hospital.”

“Your powers of deduction are astounding, Sherlock”, Alec chuckled. “Yeah, that's where you usually end up after taking a bullet to the side.”

The stare Magnus shot him was somewhat empty at first, until the memories of what had happened yesterday came back to him. “Alexander, I...”

“You saved my life, Magnus”, he softly interrupted. “I don't even know what to say, you actually took a fucking bullet for me and... Thanks for that.” Alec blushed at his ridiculous way of expressing his gratitude.

“No, don't”, Magnus waved him off, “it was my fault.”

“Magnus, we can get all of that out when you're not hopped up on painmeds and when you no longer have a hole in your torso. You were lucky”, Alec mumbled after a bit of silence. “Clean shot through, just missing any vital organs.”

“Lucky is exactly how I feel”, Magnus smiled back, looking like he meant it. “After everything, you still stayed.”

“I promised, didn't I?”And there was the blush again. And that fucking mushy feeling in his stomach. Plus the realization that he still held onto Magnus' hand.

“Uhm, we should probably call the doc”, Alec cleared his throat, let go of Magnus and reached for the call button.

The minute or so they waited for somebody to come by, they sat in awkward silence, during which Alec inwardly cursed himself for being such a emotionally stunted wreck.

“Mr Lightwood, what is the... Oh, Mr Bane, you're up!” Nurse McIntosh smiled at the patient, when she saw he was up. “How are you feeling? Any pain?”

“Little foggy still”, he smiled back, somewhat crookedly.

“That way you'll feel until the anaesthetics wear of. Right then, let me fetch the doctor.” With a last smile, she left the two in their uncomfortable silence again.

But, just when Alec had gathered the nerve to talk, the doctor waltzed inside. “Magnus Bane, we haven't properly met yet. My name is Dr Fisher and earlier this afternoon I spent a few hours inside you. Oh, that sounded wrong.” She smiled and held her hand out to Magnus, who grinned back.

“It's nice to meet you, Dr Fisher. And thank you, your time inside me was very much appreciated.”

It was great to see and hear that his humour had not taken a hit.

“You're very welcome”, she laughed. “I would like to make sure though that everything is alright and that I do not have to enter you again.”

“No offence, but I don't want that either.”

“Glad to see we're on the same page. Mr Lightwood, you're welcome to stay for the examination, I just have to ask you to take a step back so I have room to do my job.”

Alec looked a Magnus, who got the question. “Please stay.”

“Right.”

Stepping back, he let the doc do her job, watching as she examined his side, which looked like it'd win goriest costume at every Halloween party; but it was still less awkward than returning Magnus' eye contact.

“Well, I'm very satisfied”, she eventually smiled. “It all looks just like it should after a successful surgery.”

“Then I'm glad”, Magnus nodded, about to drift off again.

“He's gonna be more asleep than awake for a while”, she explained turning to Alec. “We will be moving him into different room though, since the anaesthetics are mostly out of his system and he's showing no signs of inflammation or allergic reaction.”

“Can I still stay with him?”

“Unfortunately only family is allowed to stay after visitation ends.”

“But... I'm his fiancé”, Alec stated, desperate to keep his promise and stay with Magnus.

“What?” Magnus opened his eyes once more, looking quite confused.

“I mean, we are almost engaged. You just didn't give me the chance to propose”, Alec made clear. Magnus got that Alec referenced their break-up two years ago, but it was vague enough for Dr Fisher to come to a different conclusion.

“Oh my... Well, I'm sure we can figure something out under these circumstances. I will inform the nurses and I doubt anybody will cause any issues for you to stay with him.”

“Thank you, means the world to me.”

“Then I wish you both a good night and I'll see you in the morning again.” With a friendly nod, she turned and left Alec with Magnus, who fought everything not to fall asleep.

“Fiancé?”

“Only way I can stay with you. But I can leave, if that's what you...”

“No”, Magnus made clear, smiling over and grabbing Alec's hand. “Stay.”

And that Alec did. He stayed, when only moments later, Magnus' eyes closed and he drifted back into sleep, he stayed when after a while two nurses came to wheel Magnus into a different room. He stayed, until his own eyelids were heavier than steel and, with his head resting next to Magnus', he fell asleep.

.

The next morning, Alec woke up to the most beautiful pair of golden eyes beaming at him.

“Morning.”

“Hi”, he yawned as he sat up. “How're you feeling?”

“Like a million bucks.”

“Yeah, you look it. Want me to call the doc?”

“She was already here”, Magnus grinned, “you slept soundly through the whole procedure. Figured you deserved your beauty sleep.”

“Oh.” Well, the last few hours had been taxing, it wasn't too much of a surprise that Alec was all but passed out once everything had settled down.

“Yes, she was very taken in with my wonderful fiancé and how horrible it was how your proposal was terminated.” Alec was way too exhausted to deal with the blush and his fake engagement right now. But Magnus apparently had other ideas, at least judging from the way he was looking at Alec.

“Well, a little more or less white lie. Not my worry right now, though”, Alec made clear. “Can I do anything for you, do you need anything?”

“Yes.” Magnus sighed and sat up. Alec quickly moved to help him settle into the cushions. “I need you to please listen to what I was about to tell you yesterday.”

“No, Magnus, just rest for now. There's more than enough time to talk.”

“No there's not.” With a sigh, Magnus turned past Alec, to the window out to the hallway. Alec followed his eyes, to see Asmodeus out there, just walking past like he had all night long.

“Asmodeus? Oh yeah, we already met. Wonderful man, 'bout as pleasant as a colonoscopy”, Alec scoffed.

“What?” Magnus' jaw was somewhere on the ground.

“Yeah, guess I'm the one who needs to tell a story”, he shrugged meekly. “Came up to me while you were in surgery. He's sorry to inform me that this bullet was supposed to be for me and how unfortunate it was that you jumped in the way. Yes”, he repeated, “that was his exact choice of words. Unfortunate. I may have told him something along the lines of him being welcome to just fuck off. Which, as you probably realized, he didn't. He instead told me about the last two years.”

“I'm so sorry, you should have heard it from me.”

“Yeah, it's a little weird to have the real-life Tony Soprano tell you he has a hit out on you.” Alec gulped and Magnus just squeezed his hand.

“And you still stayed.”

“Promised not to leave you”, Alec shrugged.

“Are you very mad?”

“I'm mostly confused”, he admitted. “So much happened in the last twenty-four hours, I think I said to Izzy last night something along the lines of being happy I at least remember my own name...”

“I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to tell you...”

Before anything else could be said, the door opened.

“My dear boys”, Asmodeus beamed and that was enough for Alec wanting to punch him in the face.

“What do you want?” Magnus hissed over.

“I want to see how my son is doing, is that so reprehensible?” He walked up to Magnus' free side and motioned to pat his arm, but Magnus moved away.

“It is. You will go, you will leave Alexander and me alone and never bother either of us again, you understood that, right?”

Wow. After being shot, by his own father no less, Magnus was still so strong and defiant.

“I'm sorry son, but I was clear. And you know that I'm a man of my word, and I still am. I think I can make an exception for now, given the circumstances, but as soon as you are healed you will come back to the family, and no harm shall come to this wonderful person.”

“No.” Magnus met his gaze head on. “You will leave in the knowledge that I've worked two years and gotten everything I need to send you off to jail.”

Both Alec and Asmodeus looked at Magnus with wide eyes and their chins on the ground.

“I won't give it to the police right away, since I'm not naïve enough to believe that once in a jail cell you're no longer capable of fucking up everybody's lives. But I also know that being locked up is your worst nightmare and as such it should pose as enough of a threat. Meaning: if something happens to Alexander, if you even dare to look at him, I'll send it all to the Feds. Same goes for everybody else I hold dear. And I've learned watching you, made sure to have crossed every T and dotted every I before I came back. So don't even think you can weasel your way out of anything.”

Oh damn. Magnus was one badass motherfucker, Alec couldn't help but stare at him with pure and utter adoration.

Asmodeus on the other hand was somewhat displeased and there was even a hint of a horrified glint lighting up. “I must say, I'm impressed. You've done your homework.”

“Learned from the worst”, Magnus shot back. “I'm nothing like you, I never was, never will be. My mother raised me right until you got her killed.”

“Allegedly.”

“So, I'm sorry you wasted that bullet on me and took one very unnecessary trip to New York. But I believe you will be on your way now and I wish you a... well, a life, I guess.”

As much as he hated to admit it to himself, that shit was really hot. Alec'd be lying if he said watching Magnus take on his father didn't turn him on even a little bit.

“Well played, son. Leaving me to choose between you and my love for freedom.”

“You're gonna lose me either way, scratch that, you already did. So just leave as long as you got at least a bit of your dignity left.”

Oh damn.

Asmodeus didn't even grace Alec with another glance as he looked right at Magnus. “I guess you have made your choice then. Let me just hope that he'll choose you, too.” With that, Asmodeus turned around, and walked away.

And Alec just stared at Magnus, mouth gaping open.

“Alec? I'm sorry, this was a bit much, I...”

“Magnus, that was so awesome”, Alec blurted out. “You are so awesome, I mean... Fuck.”

“Oh.” Magnus looked like he didn't expect it at all. “Ok, that wasn't how I thought this all would go. And it's so not how I planned how anything would play out.”

“What, you didn't plan for being shot by your Dad?”, Alec rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep the snort in.

“Believe it or not, but no, I didn't. But there was a lot I didn't plan on...” He brushed his fingers over Alec's. “I guess the biggest unplanned happenstance was meeting you.” When Alec made no motion to speak, Magnus continued. “I came to New York to get away from Asmodeus and start new. And then I thought I got the chance to, when I ran into you, but sure that was all too good to be true. I was careless, thought I could just... you know? But then Asmodeus showed up in our apartment. I came home and he sat on the couch and... The moment I saw him sitting there I knew things were over.”

“Why didn't you just tell me all this then? Why put me through your disappearance act?”

“Would you take the epitome of love and wonderfulness into the pit of despair and hatred?”

“You're so dramatic”, Alec scoffed at Magnus' flowery description. “But that leaves the question if you ever actually trusted me.”

“Of course I did! How can you even say I wouldn't?” Magnus looked like it was Alec that had fired the gun.

“Let me ask this way: why did you tell me that your Dad had died? It wasn't by any chance because you thought I'd judge you for being Asmodeus' son, right?”

The way Magnus' face fell, Alec must've hit bull's eye.

“I don't care who your Dad is, I never did; I care about who you are. And I don't, or didn't care about your past, I cared about your future, our future. And it just makes me wonder, you know? Did you think I'd love you any less if I knew? Do you think so little of me?”

“It had nothing to do with you, I wanted to start new, a fresh start where the past didn't matter. And once I met you that was possible. I barely knew you, but from the first moment I fell so hard for you and I love you, so damn fucking much.” Magnus leaned closer, cupped Alec's cheek and he could just melt into the soft touch and leaned into the hand. “I love you, Alexander and I always will. I didn't keep it from you, because I was scared you wouldn't love me once you knew who I really was, but...”

“Magnus, that's not you. You're not your dad. You...” Alec took a deep breath and scooted even closer. “You're not...”, he sighed and, before he really knew he was doing it, he leaned in for a kiss, soft and gentle, filled with so many emotions.

Eventually, it was Alec who pulled away, still having his forehead rested against Magnus'.

“I love you, too”, Alec sighed and could just stay like this forever. Until the door flew open.

“MAGNUS!” Madzie ran in and before the both could break away, she all but jumped on the bed.

“Hey there, sweet pea”, Magnus laughed.

“Careful, don't kill him.”

“I would never”, she protested and snuggled up on his side.

“Right...” With a grin Catarina walked in a little slower than her daughter and sat herself on the foot of the bed and patted Magnus' leg. By the grin on her face, she was a little more aware of what had just happened between the two men, but gracefully played over it. “How are you doing?”

“I'm gonna be fine”, he nodded and put his arm around Madzie. “I feel like you should be more worried about him.”

“I'm not the one who has a hole in his stomach”, Alec protested.

“He has a point, though.” Catarina turned to him. “When's the last time you ate something?”

“Huh.” Thinking back, it has probably been around 24 hours. And now, that Catarina brought it up, his stomach did growl.

“I believe that's answer enough”, she chuckled. “Madzie, how about you look after Magnus and I'll get Alec something to eat?”

“Ok!”, the girl grinned. “I brought my book, so I can read to him.”

“What? You can't continue The Hobbit without me”, Alec protested.

“Then I'll read this to him.” She got out the Storybook of Princesses and Magnus' eyes lit up. “I love a good princess story.”

“Right.” Madzie made herself comfortable by Magnus' side and, without gracing Alec or Catarina with another glance, she started reading. “Once upon a time...”

Magnus smiled at Alec, almost nodding him being alright with Alec leaving him be and so he let himself be pulled to the Cafeteria by Catarina.

Alec was happy that all Catarina forced him to do was eat and didn't force him to talk about anything. Alec wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say, all this was just way to fucked up.

“You should go home”, she eventually suggested. “Get some proper sleep and maybe a little distance to the whole situation.”

“I'm fine.”

“No, you're not.” She grabbed Alec's hand. “In the span of 24 hours, you almost watched Magnus die, had to sit by his side through a complicated operation and I might have heard some rumours about Asmodeus hanging around, which is a whole 'nother level of Pandora's Box right there. I'm pretty sure Madzie didn't get what we just interrupted, but I'm not blind. Your nerves, your emotions, everything's blank so no, you're not fine. So go home, let your siblings take a little care of you.”

“Fine”, he agreed. “You're probably right.”

“I always am”, she grinned.

So that's what he did. After Catarina was satisfied by the amount of food Alec had gobbled up, they headed back upstairs to Magnus' room. Madzie, still curled up to his side, had resorted to silent reading, as Magnus was fast asleep.

“Don't wake him”, the girl instructed, “he needs to sleep.”

“We won't. But since you're looking after him now I can leave for a while, right?”

“Nothing'll happen to him”, she promised, “he's save.”

“Then I'm relieved”, Alec smiled and leaned over to put a kiss on Madzie's head and, after waving at her and Catarina again, he made for the subway and back home, where he was already awaited.

“Catarina told us you'd be coming home and that you were deserving of being taken care of”, Jace explained as he and Izzy welcomed him with open arms.

Alec just pulled a face. “Stop being nice, that's weird.”

“We're not weird, we're supportive.”

“No”, he clarified, “you're being creepily kind and shit.”

“Alec, you're sorta-ex just got shot, by his own mafia dad. I don't think you really need us to be assholes or something”, Izzy recapped and put her arm around him. “Tell us what you need and you got it.”

“I think I need sleep”, Alec eventually decided. After barely getting any sleep and after that little that he got was him squeezed awkwardly on a hospital chair, that was what he needed.

“Right. You need me to read you a story? Or I could sing a lullaby”, Jace suggested.

“Oh yeah”, Izzy shuddered, “I see what you meant with creepily nice.”

“Exactly. And I'm officially to tired and exhausted and overwhelmed to deal with that so...” He wriggled out of Izzy's hold and took off to his room, where for the first time in what felt like forever he was finally alone and only dropped on his bed and, in no time at all, drifted into sleep.

.

Alec got to Magnus' room just as a nurse did.

“Mr Lightwood, isn't it?”

“That's me”, he smiled.

“I have to say, you and Mr Bane have reached some fame in our ward...”

“Huh?” A little confused he turned to her. “Fame? What for?”

“I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry or put my nose into something that isn't my business”, she apologized as she inspected the sleeping Magnus' monitors.

“But why are we famous?”, Alec repeated his question as he hung his jacket over the chair and leaned over. Magnus' hair was wild and Alec was pretty sure, he wouldn't want to wake up looking like that. Gently as to not wake him, he brushed the hair out of Magnus' face.

As he looked up, he found the nurse smiling over, all but beaming at Alec doting over him. “Your tragic proposal and undying loyalty might have moved all staff”, she admitted, blushing ever so slightly.

“Oh.” What the fuck? How in the name of everything that was good and holy in the world were Magnus and Alec the symbol for true and undying love? “Thanks”, he just mumbled, not wanting to burst that poor woman's bubble.

“He did look a little lost yesterday afternoon, waking up without you there”, she remarked, doing something or other at the monitor. “I hope you don't mind me saying that, but I barely had someone more in love in here than your fiancé-to-be.”

Oh fucking course Alec minded, it was the whole problem! Until yesterday he had tried to – rather successfully – suppress all the love he felt for Magnus.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry”, she hurried to apologize.

“No, it's alright.” He forced a smile and sat himself by Magnus' side. She smiled back and left the men by themselves.

“So, you were all miserable without me?”, Alec commented. “Well, I don't want to sound like a dick, but I've been not too bad the last few hours, got some proper sleep and some really nice food. Jace and Izzy were super supportive, made all my favourite foods and shit, which was really sweet but totally creepy.”

“That I believe”, Magnus mumbled, “I don't think I've ever seen your brother being nice.”

Alec jumped a little when Magnus spoke up. “And how long have you been up?”

“Long enough”, he chuckled and motioned to sit up.

“Here.” Alec jumped up to help him with that. “That long enough to know that we're the hottest gossip in here?”

“We're what?” Apparently, he wasn't awake for that long then.

“Yeah”, Alec nodded, “our tragic love story, of being almost killed mid-proposal, and how there has barely been anyone in here as in love as you are with me.” At the last notion, Alec looked away, not sure he could hold the eye contact.

“Mhm... You didn't correct her though, did you?”

“Because I'm not a dick”, he shot back, looking back at Magnus. “And because I kinda started that whole story with the engagement and shit.” And here comes the blush.

“I know she was right with one thing”, Magnus eventually sighed. “I'm so in love with you, I can't even put it in words. And I mean yeah, you probably don't feel the same about me any more...”

“Of course I do”, Alec interrupted. “I love you, Magnus. I meant it when I said that you're the love of my life, always were, always will be.”

“Oh.” Magnus' face dropped a little, clearly unsure what to do with that.

“Issue is”, Alec continued, “it's not the only stuff I feel.” Damnit, Alec didn't want to do that the moment Magnus woke up, two days after an intense operation.

“And it's not fair to you, if I just pretend they're not there”, he just continued. “Because what when they break through the surface? It's just not fair to you.”

“Alexander, that's your worry? That I'm gonna be hurt when your deserved frustrations, trust issues and anger come through?”

“Yeah”, Alec nodded, not quite getting what had Magnus so surprised.

“So, you're saying the reason you don't want to be with me is because you don't want to hurt me?”, he repeated again, even more dubious as the first time.

“Do you need me to draw you a picture?”, Alec suggested, just stopping himself from his eye roll.

Magnus just grabbed Alec's hands and kissed them. “You are so amazing.”

“Ok, I'm really getting confused now. Like last night, when Jace wanted to tell me a good-night-story...”

“When I came back I thought you didn't want to be with me because I left and kept so much stuff from you”, Magnus tried to explain his emotional reaction. “I never figured that... I don't know, you would still worry about me after everything.”

“Right”, Alec rolled his eyes, “because it's so wrong to worry about the guy that took a bullet for me.”

“That's not what I meant and you know it.”

“Ok, but maybe my ego would like to hear you say one more time how awesome I am”, he grinned.

Instead of the scoffed retort, Alec had expected, Magnus squeezed his hands and locked eyes. “You are the most awesome, amazing person I have ever met.”

Oh fuck, here come all the feelings. Alec blushed and turned away. “Damnit, Magnus, I have a reputation.”

“Right, because you have something to proof to me.”

“I kinda feel like I do”, Alec admitted. “Or at least proof some shit to me.”

“Like what?”

“Like that I'm not addicted to you, or well, sex with you. That I'm not just your damsel, feeling so amazing and loving because you saved my life. That all the positive things I feel for you are real.”

Alec looked back up, but instead of finding Magnus sad or hurt that Alec might not have feelings left him, he just smiled. A real smile. And it confused Alec to no end.

“What is it?”

“I really appreciate what you're trying to do for us. If there's anything I can do to help, I'll gladly do it. And if you need your distance, then that's alright, too.”

“I don't want to stay away from you”, Alec made clear, and the smile on Magnus' face brightened even more. “But I think we're gonna end our bullshit friends-with-benefits thing.”

“I mean, it's not like I'm really capable of doing much right now”, Magnus shrugged, suppressing a giggle.

“I don't mean just that”, Alec continued his explanation, “but no more hiding feelings behind physicality. A proper...” Alec hesitated a moment. Were they really ready for a romantic relationship? “Friendship”, he eventually settled on.

“That seems like the healthy thing to do. Just, do me one favour please?”

“Of course, anything!”

“Right. Please don't tell the staff here that we've just broken up for the second time in three days, fourth time in total. I don't want to break their hearts and a celebrity status might not be too bad”, he grinned. “Might get me an extra jell-o every now and then.”

Alec couldn't have kept the laugh down if he wanted to. And it felt good. As had as he tried, he couldn't remember the last time he laughed like that, especially like that around Magnus.

Maybe things were on a good way.

And over the days and weeks they found a nice rhythm, where after work, Alec came round to the hospital, checking in on him, just talking and, in a way, getting to know each other again.

.

“Omigod, have you decorated?”, Dr Fisher laughed, as she inspected the wound about a week post op.

“That was my god daughter”, Magnus explained the pink glittery band-aids, keeping the gauze on his torso in place. “She has decided that the aesthetics do play a major part in proper healing. Besides, she wants to be a doctor too, so I'm her training dummy.”

“And that whether he wants to or not”, Alec laughed from the corner he had gone to, so the Doc could do her work.

“Is she that adorable little girl that keeps on telling the nurses on staff that they should not give you lime jell-o, because you think it's yucky?”

“The one and only”, he laughed, and something inside Alec just got shaken loose at the sight of that. At the sight of Magnus' golden eyes shining like a cat in headlights, at the sight of the crinkles around the corners of his mouth Magnus would vehemently deny because “I do not have wrinkles!” At how it sounded like the most heavenly melody and Alec couldn't believe that he was lucky enough to hear that sound again.

“I have to say, she does keep everybody on the ward on their toes”, she chuckled as she continued on her work. “Though I would pride myself in saying that we do have an excellent nursing staff, without our future boss' supervision.”

“Yes, Madzie will definitely rule the world at some point”, Alec agreed fondly.

“Well, it seems that will be a good thing, judging by how she takes care of you.” Dr Fisher helped Magnus put the shirt back on, which was a bit of a pity. “I'd say we'll keep you another week around, but if the healing continues the way it is healing right now, there won't be much more than a scar left to show off with, about how you saved your... well, almost-fiancé's life.”

It was almost hilarious to watch; each time a nurse or doctor came in to see Magnus, they not so subtly checked out Magnus' hand, looking for a ring. But there was nothing, for obvious reasons.

“I'm sorry to disappoint you”, Alec just shrugged, “but I'm not gonna propose in the hospital.”

“Of course you're not”, she grinned, slightly meek for having been caught in her snooping.

“Oh, I would never hear the end of it”, Alec rolled his eyes. “I still don't know what I did to deserve a drama queen like him.” Despite all the joking and teasing, the fondness in his voice was something Alec could not control.

“Guilty as charged”, Magnus admitted. “But yeah, you must have been one holy and saintly son of a bitch in your last life that you're getting something this amazing back from the universe”, he added with a cheeky grin.

With an exasperated sigh, Alec turned to Dr Fisher. “You know, I'd love to make some joke back at him, but with him taking a bullet for me... I can't do that, can I?”

“No, you can't”, Magnus chirped over with that damn shit-eating grin. A few years ago, Alec would have just kissed that damn grin right off Magnus' face, but that wouldn't really work in his current conundrum.

“About that.” Dr Fisher's expression went somewhat sombre. “I know you have spoken to police and everything over the last few days. But are you sure you don't want to press charges?”

“I don't”, Magnus made clear. “For private reasons”, he added, just as the doctor motioned to speak again. “And I ask that this decision please be respected.”

“Of course”, she nodded, looking slightly worried. “I will tell authorities to close this case then.”

“I very much appreciate that”, he smiled.

They had spoken about this and Alec, knowing the background, got Magnus' decision. Because what were they gonna do? They couldn't proof that it was Asmodeus, and even if they could, things would end pretty ugly.

“Then I'll head on to the next patient and wish you two a nice afternoon.” With a nod, she left the room.

“Do you think I made the right call?”, Magnus asked after a while. “You know, with not pressing charges against Asmodeus?”

“Mhm. “Alec walked over, sat himself by Magnus' side again and looked up at him. “I have honestly no idea. I assume that if you did, we'd have to go into hiding, witness protection or something. I don't know”, he defended himself when Magnus creased his eyebrows, “until a week ago all my mafia experience was limited to films and TV shows.”

“Right”, he grinned, before his expression turned earnest again. “The thing is, I know we can trust his word. When he says he'll leave us alone, then that he'll do, I'm sure of it. Asmodeus may be many things, but he keeps his word.”

“Which is pretty nice, because I do not want to move to Florida or Minnesota”, Alec chuckled.

“So, do you think you can trust me on that?” Magnus looked up with big eyes, somewhat curious, somewhat afraid of the answer.

“I don't have a reason not to, do I?”, Alec just smiled back, basking in the instantly spreading smile over Magnus' face.

“Thanks. Means the world.”

.

“WELCOME HOME!”

When Alec opened the door to Catarina's apartment for Magnus, everybody jumped up with balloons and confetti and... so much decoration. Even though he knew there was a surprise coming, Alec's jaw was just as much on the ground as Magnus'.

There was no time to dwell on it too much, since Madzie walked right up and wrapped herself around Magnus.

“Thanks, sweet pea”, he smiled and leaned down just enough to put a kiss on her forehead.

While Magnus was busy being coddled by all their friends, Alec grabbed his bag and put it into his room, where he just sat himself down on Magnus' bed, taking a deep breath; calming himself and collecting his wits, before he too would join the chaos that had broken out in the usually so tidy apartment.

“I'm sorry, Jace went a little wild on decorations”, Izzy chuckled, as the other two Lightwoods made their way over to him.

“That's on you?” Alec couldn't really believe what he just heard.

“I think I did pretty nicely”, Jace grinned proudly and sat himself next to Alec, Izzy sitting on Alec's other side.

“It looks as if Mum's giftwrapping-drawer had exploded...”

“You're a fucking philistine”, his brother scoffed and boxed Alec's arm. “Just cause you can't appreciate art...”

“I can appreciate good art”, Alec grinned and ducked just in time to avoid the next punch, all but throwing himself over Izzy's lap.

“Boys, I will separate you”, she made clear, but that amused grin shone right through. Alec didn't doubt it, though. His sister could be downright scary and neither brother wanted to be at the receiving end of her wrath.

“Sorry”, they mumbled.

“I know. So, Alec, how are you doing?”

“I'm alright”, he nodded, and it wasn't even a lie. “I really am. Unless this is another intervention, because if it is I will be out of here like that.”

“No, no”, Jace hurried to make clear, “no intervention. Just two concerned siblings, wanting to make sure that their big brother is doing alright.”

“You're being weirdly nice again.”

“Come on, Alec”, Izzy moaned, “just let the two of us be nice to you every now and then. If it makes you feel better we can call you asshole for the next few days.”

“Sunday's family dinner, though. I don't think either Mum or Dad would appreciate you calling me that...”

“Good that you're bringing it up”, Izzy grinned. “Sunday.”

“Yes?”

“You should bring someone”, Jace grinned along. “You know, between me and Clary, her and Simon...”

“Yeah, but I'm not seeing anybody and I doubt that I'll meet somebody in the next five days.”

“I mean, you and Magnus aren't just platonic, are you?”

Alec didn't get it. “Two or so weeks ago, you told me I should stop seeing Magnus, because I was a hopeless addict. Now you want me to bring him along to family dinner?”

“Something's changed, though.” Izzy locked eyes with Alec, searching his for something. “I don't know if you talked it out, what you did... You're comfortable around him again, you don't flinch when someone brings up his name or what happened with Asmodeus. Either you truly are over him or...”

“Or what?”

“You forgave him.”

Izzy's assessment struck some chord inside him. He definitely wasn't over Magnus, hearing him laugh still lit up that part of Alec he assumed was his soul; seeing these golden eyes smiling at him still made his heart skip a beat; feeling Magnus' touch on him, holding his hand, still made his breath hitch. In summary, being around Magnus short circuited Alec's being.

But forgiveness? Alec wasn't so sure about that.

“I won't bring him Sunday”, he just decided. “But yes, things are getting better between us. Everything's out in the open and we actually deal with it.”

“That's good”, Jace smiled. “And that way, we don't have to hold an intervention for you again.”

“Ha, ha”, Alec deadpanned, and nudged his side. “But I do not want to put Magnus through Lightwood family dinner, he's still healing and needs plenty of rest.”

“That's super considerate of you”, Izzy cooed and wrapped herself around Alec's arm. “You really are the sweetest.”

“Now, that we can definitely agree on”, he grinned and kissed her cheek.

.

“Thank you”, Magnus smiled, as he, after a long party, went to bed.

“For what?”, Alec asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Everything. The last weeks were fucking insane. But I could still count on you. And that is something... something so amazing, I don't even know what to say.”

“You don't have to say anything”, Alec shrugged. “Just get some rest and I'll see you.”

“Yeah”, Magnus smiled, “I'll see you, too.”

“Mum, Dad, there is something I need to tell you.” They were halfway through dinner, when Alec couldn't help it any more. He was quite aware that this would ruin the whole evening, but that didn't matter right now.

What Izzy and Jace had said to him the other day stuck with him, especially that one remark: ' _You're comfortable around him again'._ And he was. He could laugh, joke about their fake engagement, all in all it felt like he and Magnus were almost back in sync with each other.

It was something, he didn't want to keep from his parents, though. The part with Asmodeus he would happily keep from them, but they deserved to know about the new relationship with Magnus; so far he hadn't even told them that he's back.

Besides it being Alec's way of including his – more or less homophobic – parents in his love life, maybe this was the chance to find out if Alec's feelings, when faced with the challenge of Robert's view of love, were real enough to stand strong.

“What is it, dear?”

Alec knew his parents well enough to read the curious looks they shot him. Both clearly hoped that Alec had met someone special, the difference being that Dad hoped it was a girl.

Well, here goes nothing. “Me and Magnus made up.”

It was dead silent at the table, as his parents' faces fell in shock, while his friends and siblings smiled proudly at Alec.

“Does that mean you're back together?”, Maryse asked carefully.

“We are not. I'm currently trying to figure out what kind of feelings are there”, he explained honestly. “And I figured it was only fair for you to know about this.”

“Alexander, you got to be kidding me”, Robert eventually snorted. “For four years I tolerated your abnormal affair with that man and when I finally had the hope that you had learned from your mistakes, you go right back to him?”

“Not one word in that last sentence was true”, Alec remarked, surprised at how calm he sounded. “You didn't tolerate our very much normal and loving relationship, which wasn't a mistake and also he came back to me.”

“I don't care what it takes, but this...”

“Robert, please”, Maryse interrupted her husband and locked eyes with Alec. “He broke your heart. I don't know if somebody who does this to my son, who I love just the way he is”, she remarked with a side-eye to Dad, “deserves a second chance and I don't know if I can give it.”

“I love you too, Mum”, Alec smiled at her and reached over the table to squeeze her hands. “I feel the same way. We're on a good page right now, we're talking a lot and I can say that Magnus really is my friend. And, since Magnus and me are talking honestly and openly, you deserve to know about it, after you've been there for me these last few years and...”

“I honestly don't think I want to”, Robert interrupted again. “This man is bad news for you and everybody involved and...”

“For fuck's sake.” Of all people, it was Simon who spoke up. “Robert. Would you just, for once, listen to your son?” The moment he said it, he seemed to realize what he just did, turned beet-red and sunk back in the chair as the entire family stared at him with wide eyes.

“That was so hot”, Izzy eventually whispered into his ear, leaving Simon to blush for different reasons. “But he's completely right.” She turned towards her Dad. “Alec isn't asking for your permission, he's doing you a solid by keeping you a part of his life. Would you prefer it if he didn't tell you about it?”

Fuck. Up until that last question, Alec was so happy that they were fighting for him, but this question... He himself had asked Robert that same thing once before and his father had made his answer very clear.

“Yes, I would”, Robert stated, ice cold and emotionless, just like the last time, Alec has had that conversation with him.

“It's alright”, he motioned to his sister as she moved to voice her outrage. “I have said my piece and all your worries and reservations are duly noted.” He smiled at his family, and it didn't even feel too forced.

The rest of dinner was awkwardly silent, but it didn't bother Alec all that much. Instead his mind wandered to the man in question, who split his family in two. His Dad's reaction... Well, Alec made his peace with it a long time ago that Robert just didn't understand and never would. And his Mum... She too reacted like Alec had expected her to: with worry and concern about Alec's well-being, just as his siblings had. That kind of wariness towards Magnus, he was however grateful for. Because by saying that Magnus broke his heart, Mum accepted their relationship for what exactly it had been.

That weird feeling in his stomach though... His and Magnus' friendship had withstood the test, since Alec couldn't be bothered with both his parents being against it. Even when they were actually together, Alec always had felt that bit of shame at driving his parents away; if he and Magnus hadn't loved each other the way they did, they might have just broken up over it.

But now, being honest, even defending his and Magnus' relationship was more important to Alec than his parents' feelings. And Alec wasn't sure whether that was a good sign or a fucking worrying one...

.

“We're gonna drop you of here”, Clary announced as she stopped in front of a building. Too focused on his chat with Jace, Alec hadn't realized until now where they were: Catarina's apartment building.

“Seriously? A few weeks ago you all but threatened to lock me up if I saw Magnus again and now you're dropping me off on his doorstep?”

“Yes” ,the four answered in unison. “Partly, because we know that Magnus isn't allowed to have sex yet”, Jace grinned.

“But mostly, because you idiot finally figured out your feelings”, Simon continued.

“You can't call me an idiot”, Alec made clear, but unlike earlier at dinner, Simon didn't blush and just grinned back at Alec.

“Even if it's factually true?”

“I can call you an idiot though”, Izzy made clear, before Alec could continue bickering with Simon. “So, get out, up there and do what we all know you have to do.”

Well, Alec didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, whether they expected him to get back together with Magnus or not, but after that talk at dinner, seeing Magnus would in any way cheer him up and maybe even help him make that decision.

“Fine.” He climbed out of the car, waved at his siblings as they drove off and made his way to Catarina's flat. It was her that opened the door to an adorable sight in front of him: Magnus on the couch, his shirt pulled up, while Madzie inspected his wound and fixed it with an unholy amount of butterfly and flower band-aids.

“Welcome, the doctor is in”, Catarina chuckled for greeting.

“Yes, I will be right with you”, Madzie called over, adding the finishing touches to her mummification of Magnus, who just shot him a skew grin. “How was dinner?”

“No talking”, Madzie made clear, “you're currently being healed, so no talking.”

Alec almost tasted blood he bit down so hard to stifle his laugh; Catarina looked similarly amused. “Tea?”

“No chance I'll get a coffee?”

“MHM MHM!”, Magnus protested, with his lips still closed, not daring to speak.

“Why not?”, Alec moped, turning to the patient.

Magnus looked at Madzie, who just let out a sigh. “Fine, talk to him.”

“Thank you. Because if you drink coffee after 7pm, you can't sleep, sometimes even get nightmares and tomorrow you'll be all grumpy. So no, you'll have a tea, and that's it.”

“Fine”, he moaned, trying to ignore that fluffy feeling from Magnus knowing him so well.

He followed Catarina into the kitchen, so Madzie could finish her exam. “She is quite the Nurse Ratchett, hey?”

“All I'm gonna say is poor Magnus”, Cat shrugged, “but he's so patient, it's actually really heart-warming.”

“Yeah”, Alec smiled fondly, “he is, isn't he?”

“Are we still talking about my girl?”

Staying silent, he just shot her a pointed look, she met head-on. As was to be expected, Alec was the first to break away and looked down on his fingers. He was just about to explain himself, when a call from the living room kept him from it. “NEXT, PLEASE!”

“Guess it's my turn now”, he shrugged and walked back to the living room, where Madzie motioned for him to lay on the couch.

Dressed again, Magnus got out of her way. “Good luck”, he whispered before heading out to help Catarina.

“So, I'm gonna hear your heart now.” She climbed on his lap and leaned over. Madzie grabbed the stethoscope, she had gotten as a parting gift from the staff on Magnus' ward, so she would be able to continue treating him. “Deep breath, please”, she ordered, which was a little hard, with her climbing around on top of him, but Alec gave it his best shot.

“Oh”, she remarked eventually. “Your heart is beating funnily.”

“Oh no”, he played shocked, “what does that mean?”

“That I need help from my assistant”, she yelled out and Magnus came over.

“I though you were her patient.”

“Yes, but Catarina is making tea for us all, so I'll help out. What's his problem?” He kneeled down next to the couch, carefully and very slowly. If Madzie weren't sitting on top of him, Alec would have jumped right over and helped, but he managed by himself.

“He's heart sick.”

“Oh.” Magnus turned to Alec and great, there was the blush again.

“Yeah, his heart beats really funnily.”

“Mhm... What do you think we should do about that?”, he asked her, not looking away from Alec though.

“We need to give it its proper rhythm back”, she decided. “So, I will hear if it's getting better and you need to make the correct beat on his chest.”

“That is so smart”, Magnus nodded, actually managing to look impressed instead of amused; Alec on the other hand could barely bite down his grin.

“Oh no, Alec's heart is going faster and faster”, Madzie found.

Well, there was a very simple explanation for that: Magnus bent over Alec, their faces very close together, while Magnus' hand brushed over Alec's chest.

“I bet it is”, Magnus mumbled, sounding almost hoarse.

With soft pats, Magnus mimicked the heart beat Madzie told him to do, patting on Alec's chest. Weirdly enough, Alec felt himself syncing his breathing up to the rhythm of Magnus' fingers.

“It's working!”, Madzie squealed, “don't stop now, he's almost healthy again!”

“What is sick about Alec?”, Catarina asked and put a tray with some steaming cups down on the table, before inspecting the scene a little more closely.

“Alec is heartsick and Magnus is healing him”, the girl explained.

“Of course”, she grinned and, with a cup in her hand she made herself comfortable by Alec's feet. He felt the smile she shot their way, but that didn't really matter to him right now; unlike these beautiful golden eyes, seemingly staring into his soul, and the rhythmic tap on his chest. Losing every sense of time and or place, Alec could stay like this forever. Until Madzie's squeal brought him back into the real world: “It worked! Alec, your heart is normal again.”

“Thanks”, he smiled, though nothing about his innards felt normal right now.

Magnus leaned back and, with some effort, he managed to get back up again. “Well, if you ever need an assistant again”, he winked at Madzie, who, not gently, climbed of Alec, but not without accidentally stomping on his stomach first.

“Ouch”, he groaned, “I think I'm sick again.”

“No”, the girl made clear, “you're a wuss.” And with that, she went to tidy up her medical equipment.

“I assume you don't want tea but some privacy”, Catarina eventually remarked, as Alec and Magnus didn't seem to be able to break their gaze.

Before he could really say anything, Magnus had grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into his bedroom, where he motioned for Alec to make himself comfortable. And, moments later, they sat on the bed together, Alec losing himself in Magnus' eyes again and again.

“I feel like something happened at the Lightwood Family Dinner”, Magnus broke the silence eventually.

“It did.” Alec cleared his throat. “I told my parents that you're back.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How did it go?”

“About as expected”, Alec shrugged. “Dad was... Well, you know his speeches. Mum was just worried about me, about getting my heart broken again. Simon actually made a stir, standing up for me to Dad”, he smiled.

“So, what exactly did you tell them?”

“That we're really good friends and that we're currently trying to find out what's still there”, he reported. Ever since he started talking, Alec had looked on his lap, his fingers, the wall but not Magnus. Not until now. He found Magnus' eyes big, hopeful and Alec could only smile at the face he liked, no, the face he loved so much.

“And I think I realized something. I love you too much to be friends.”

Magnus' face dropped in fear of being broken up with for the fifth time.

“But I think I just might love you enough to be your boyfriend”, he added with a sheepish smile.

“Wait.” Magnus seemed to take a bit longer to fully grasp what Alec just said. “You're saying that...”

“I'm saying that I love you.” Alec scooted closer, put his hand on Magnus' neck. “I'm saying that I love you so damn much.” The closer he got to Magnus, the quieter his voice got. Their foreheads pressed together, Magnus reached up to cup Alec's cheek. “I'm saying”, Alec sighed, “that I want to be with you.”

It wasn't more than a hoarse whisper when Magnus answered: “I love you, Alexander.”

And then their lips met. As soft and gentle as a touch it was, so many more fireworks went up in Alec's brain then at all their sexual escapades over the last few months put together.

Their lips stayed locked for what could have been five minutes or five hours, Alec didn't care. They only broke away, when gasping for air, or when whispering some almost silent love confessions.

“I'm not saying everything will be like it once was”, Alec mumbled between kisses, wanting to explain himself some more, but not ready to give up on kissing his boyfriend. “And you might need to be patient with me, and sometimes there will be some anger coming through.”

“That's alright and deserved”, Magnus assured him, his hands moving up into Alec's hair. “I'll be right there, through everything. And I'm never gonna leave you, never again.”

(Spoiler Alert: This promise he kept.)


	2. Chapter 2

**2019**

“Are you sure, you should be on your feet already?”

“Alexander”, Magnus groaned, turning to face him. “It's _my_ bullet wound.”

“Sorry”, Alec mumbled, “I'm just saying...”

“I know. But you have _just been saying_ that for weeks. I'm good to take a little walk. Besides, you'd have to literally tie me down, if you got a problem with that. Although...” The exasperation turned into a flirty grin.

“Duly noted”, Alec grinned back, cursing himself for the blush that crept up his cheeks. Before Magnus could comment on that though, he grabbed his hand and, with their fingers entangled, they continued on their way. Until they got dangerously close to a certain place, Alec never wanted to visit again.

“Hey, how about we turn around and get some ice cream or something?”, he suggested, trying his all to sound nonchalant and not give away the fact that he was on the verge of hyperventilation.

“It's ok.” Magnus squeezed his hand and looked up with a soft smile. “If you don't want to go there, you don't have to. I still would like to.”

“Why?”

Why in the world would Magnus want to go to a place, where his Dad almost killed him?

“Because the positive memories outweigh the negative ones by far.” He stretched himself just enough to brush their lips together, before turning and walking by himself around the corner towards _there_ , but not without turning around one more time. “After all, how could I not love the place where I met you, Mr Pretty?”

* * *

**2013**

“You've met somebody, haven't you?” Izzy eyed the older brother curiously.

“I have no idea what you're talking about”, Alec shot back and, before his sister could interrogate him some more, he walked off into his room. She was right, of course she was, nobody could read Alec like his siblings could. Only issue: Izzy probably expected Alec to have met some woman, when in reality he ran into the most gorgeous man. Well, actually it was that breathtakingly beautiful man that had literally run into Alec.

”I'm so sorry”, he apologized and Alec might have momentarily lost the ability to breathe at the sight of these shining golden eyes. “Are you alright?”

“Uhm, yeah.” Alec cleared his throat and nodded. “Still in one piece.”

“Then I'm happy”, the other man grinned and what a heart-stopping grin that was. “Wouldn't want to ruin this work of art.”

“Uhhh...” Alec could only stare with wide eyes as this stranger actually flirted with him.

Before he could say something, anything at all, a little girl came running up. “UNCLE MAGNUS!”, she yelled, “you didn't hide!”

“Sorry sweet pea”, that man, Magnus apparently, apologized and heaved her up into his arms. “I almost ran this pretty guy over and wanted to make sure he was alright.”

Alec didn't get the chance to dwell on being called pretty as the girl continued. “Oh. I'm sowwy Mr Pwetty, are you ok?”

“Yeah”, he smiled, finding it a lot easier to chat with a child than some attractive guy. “My name's Alec, by the way.”

“I'm Madzie”, she smiled back. “Do you want to play Hide and Seek with us, Alec?”

“That's sweet of you, but I gotta get back to work.”

“Ok then. Magnus, I go and hide now, ok?”

“Sure thing.” He put her back down and, just before she ran off towards where she came from, she turned to Alec once more. “Bye Mr Pwetty!”

“She's my god-daughter”, Magnus beamed. “And my favourite person in the entire world.”

“She seems like an awesome kid. But yeah, I gotta get back to work.”

“Gotta be nice, getting to spend your lunch break in Central Park.”

“It is. I always love coming here”, Alec shrugged, stroking the rocky balustrade of Gapstow Bridge. “Not sure why, though.”

“Well”, Magnus smiled. “Maybe one of these days you'd like some company during break?”

Did he just ask Alec out? Did that beautiful person, looking like he came straight from the fashion week, ask out Alec, in a faded shirt and the jeans, Alec has had since high school?

“Yeah”, he eventually managed to answer, with zero control over the blush and grin spreading over his face.

“Great. Guess I'll see you 'round then”, Magnus smiled, turned and walked away, leaving Alec on the bridge with his mouth gaping wide open.

*

“No, I'm never, ever gonna let you pick a place for lunch ever again”, Jace moaned after dejectedly taking another bite of the wraps Izzy had gotten them.

“Screw you”, she shot back, “that's the best hummus in all of New York City!”

“You're only saying that, because Meliorn works there.” Alec didn't hate the food as much as his brother did, but he wasn't the biggest fan of chickpeas either.

“You are both philistines”, Izzy made clear and made herself comfortable on the balustrade of Gapstow Bridge. “So stop the bickering you two and let's enjoy the fact that once every blue moon we can have our lunch break together.”

“Right, because living together we don't get to spend enough time just the three of us”, Jace rolled his eyes with a wide grin.

“Dude, you can go and eat by yourself at your desk if it is such a burden to spend time with us. But then you'd have to chat with Raj and we all know that you don't want that.”

“Listen to Iz”, Alec shrugged and sat himself next to their sister. “She's the smartest one here.”

“Thank you, Alec”, she grinned back and leaned against his side.

“Hi Mr Pwetty!” Before he really knew it happened, a little girl skipped over to him, grinning up widely. Yeah, he knew that girl...

“Hey Madzie.”

“Hi”, she giggled. “And who are you?”

“I'm Izzy, that's Jace. Mr... Pretty is our brother”, she added, biting down her grin. From the corner of his eye, Alec saw Jace fighting hard against the laughter bubbling up, but decided to ignore it.

“Look, Uncle Magnus, it's Mr Pwetty!”, Madzie yelled before somebody could continue the interrogation and from where the girl came running up, Magnus followed, albeit a little slower.

Oh shit. Alec could already feel his heart beating just that bit faster and Jace and Izzy's eyes locked onto him. This was just headed for disaster.

“Well, hello there Alexander.”

“Magnus, hi.” As hard as he tried, he couldn't help the smile spreading; all he could do was try to ignore his siblings. “Uhm, that's Jace, and that's Izzy.”

“Nice to meet you”, he nodded at them, but turned straight away back to Alec. “It's great to see you again, but I gotta get this little whirlwind back to her Mum.” He poked at the girl's side who, with a loud shriek, all but jumped on Alec's lap.

“Not funny”, she moped and held tightly onto Alec's leg.

“I agree”, Alec nodded, putting his hand on Madzie's shoulder. “That really isn't funny.”

“You see”, she shot back, somewhat defiantly, “Mr Pwetty agwees with me.”

As he did last time, Alec could just smile at the adorable girl, her ridiculous nickname for him and her pronunciation issues with r and w.

“This is a democratic country”, Magnus admitted, “so I guess I'm outvoted and need to agree that yes, it wasn't funny. So, please accept my sincerest apologies.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Thank you.” With a dramatic sigh, Magnus clutched his chest. “Means the world. So, you think we could get going? Your Mum's gonna take it out on me when we're late again...”

“Are you scared of Mummy?”

“Very. So, if you don't mind...” Magnus gestured in the general direction of where they should be heading.

“At least today we stayed long enough to see you”, she beamed up at Alec before letting go.

“Wait, what?” Alec looked from Madzie to Magnus, who actually blushed a little.

“It was definitely nice to see you, Alexander”, he smiled and took Madzie by the hand. “Enjoy the rest of your lunch and we'll see you around. It was nice meeting you.”

Only now that Magnus addressed them, Alec remembered that his siblings were sitting next to him, biting down their grins.

“Likewise”, Izzy grinned, and, probably to keep from snorting with laughter, Jace just nodded.

“Bye, then.” After shooting Alec a wink, Magnus and Madzie walked off.

“Who was _that_?”, Izzy squealed the moment they were out of earshot, repeatedly boxing Alec's arm.

“Magnus and Madzie, as they said.” Maybe if he just waved it off as no big thing, Alec could enjoy his weird wrap and get through his break without Izzy and Jace starting the interrogation.

Who was he kidding, he wasn't gonna get out of this until they were physically separated.

“Yeah, but _who_ was that?”, Jace repeated with an unholy amount of eyebrow-wiggles.

“We met a week or so ago, chatted a bit, that was it.”

“And why does that little girl call you Mr Pretty?”

“Uhm, excuse me?” Alec gestured up and down his face and body.

“Yeah, but a little girl doesn't call you pretty. But a guy, clearly checking you out, might.”

“Would you look at that, my break is over.” He motioned to walk off, but both his siblings held him back.

“Your break isn't over for another fifteen minutes”, Jace made clear. “And we're not done talking.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Alec couldn't help the annoyed tone, but that was something he was not comfortable discussing with them right now. Sure, he could trust Izzy and Jace with just about anything, but just because he thought that Magnus was good-looking, it didn't mean that there was anything Alec could, should or even wanted to do. “There's nothing to talk about.”

“If you say so, _Alexander_...” With a shrug, Izzy sat herself back on the balustrade again, turned to Jace and started some discussion about baseball. Maybe, Alec wasn't paying attention right now.

“ _At least today we stayed long enough to see you.”_

Did Magnus actually, physically try to force a 'chance' meeting? That would be... weird. Yeah, weird was the word Alec was gonna go for. The same went for that funny feeling in Alec's stomach, he'd call that weird as well. All in all, everything to do with Magnus was weird. Magnus probably just was a weird guy. Why else would he be interested in Alec?

*

“Hi Alec.”

Alec leaned against the balustrade, looking over the pond, when Madzie wrapped herself around his legs and ripped him out of his mostly work-related thoughts. When he turned, he saw Magnus there, in another impeccable outfit, with that beaming smile.

“Hey”, he smiled back.

“So, important.” Madzie wasn't even about to do her entire 'Mr Pwetty' routine, it sounded like there was some urgent business to be discussed.

“What is it?”

“Magnus wants to mawwy you”, she stated matter of factly and Alec's face just dropped.

“Uhm, what now?”

“I don't”, Magnus made clear, locking eyes with Alec.

“Yes, that's what Mummy said”, she nodded vehemently. “That when you go out on a date that you get mawwied.”

“Well, not right away”, Magnus corrected her, before looking up at Alec again. “But the rest is admittedly true.” With a skew smile, he shrugged. “I wanted to ask if you'd like to join me for a drink some time.”

“Oh.” Alec was not sure what to say; he didn't exactly expect to be asked out. “Sure”, he eventually got out and a grin broke through. “I'd like that.”

“Well then, do you have a number I could call you on?”

“Uhm yeah.” He kept on grinning at Magnus, who just smiled back.

“You want to tell me?”

“Huh?” It was only slightly embarrassing for Alec, when he realized what Magnus asked of him. “Oh yeah, sure.” Blushing furiously, he fumbled around his bag until he found a piece of paper to scribble his number on.

“Right then”, Magnus beamed. “Let's leave Mr Pretty to his break, shall we?” Without breaking eye contact with Alec, Magnus held his hand out to Madzie who grabbed it with a giggle. “Bye, Mr Pwetty!”

Left somewhat dumbfounded, yet still grinning like a damn idiot, Alec stood on the bridge, waving after the two until they disappeared around a corner.

That just happened. That really just happened! Well, damn.


	3. Chapter 3

**2019**

“Here you go.” Magnus put a cocktail in front of Alec, a kiss on his cheek and sat himself on the stool opposite.

“Thanks”, he smiled and, after toasting “to us”, he took a generous sip. “I gotta say”, Alec got out once the burn lessened enough for him to get the ability to speak back. “Two years without you and I'm really not used to that any more.”

“You're telling me you didn't drink in two years?”

“Of course I did, just not to enjoy it...”

“Oh.” Magnus' face dropped for a moment, before catching himself again.

“But it's alright now, I guess”, Alec tried to safe it. “One question though.”

After Magnus nodded for Alec to go ahead, he asked: “if we're doing a completely new start to our relationship, why did you take me out for our new first date to the same place we had our first-first date?”

“Because”, Magnus smiled, “it's where I fell in love with you.”

“On our first date?” Alec wasn't sure he believed what he heard right there.

“I didn't realize it at the time, but yeah.” Magnus leaned over the table to grab Alec's hands. “And since nothing about my love for you has changed, I thought it fitting.”

Not really knowing what to say to that, Alec pulled Magnus' hands up to put a soft kiss on them. “I love you, too.”

* * *

**2013**

“Here you go.” Magnus put a drink in front of Alec, sat himself on the stool opposite Alec's and raised his glass. “To us.”

“Cheers.”

Oh, that burned. Alec couldn't help his face falling into some weird grimace at the sharp taste of whatever Magnus had gotten him.

“You don't like it?”

“Nah, it's good”, he pressed out, but Magnus would probably not buy that. “I'm just not that much of a drinker.”

“You don't have to force it down, if you don't like it. I won't hold it against you”, Magnus made clear, before taking another sip of his cocktail.

“Well, let me at least try to get used to it. Maybe one is enough for today, though”, he shrugged and shot Magnus a skew grin, before taking another sip. Which burned just as bad as the first had.

Magnus just raised his eyebrows, but stayed silent. Instead, he kept his eyes on Alec, seemingly watching every little move.

“What? Do I have something on me?” Putting his drink back down, he searched his shirt, only to find Magnus chuckling at him.

“You really are adorably clueless.”

“Thanks”, Alec deadpanned, but since he still didn't get what was apparently so funny, Magnus just might have a point with that.

“Alec. I'm checking you out.”

“Oh.” And there was the blush. “Thanks, I guess.”

Fuck, Alec was way to awkward to be on a date, let alone on a date with someone that fabulous! In all honesty, Alec didn't quite get what was so 'check-out-worthy' about him. It took him thirty minutes to finally choose one of his many black and grey shirts (the cleanest one without any holes), while Magnus looked like he climbed straight out of Vogue or any of these fashion magazines.

“You do get you're attractive, right?” Magnus locked eyes, somewhere between questioning and confused. “Because you are.”

Well, that was something Alec didn't really believe. However, jumping on a self-deprecating-train on the first date... Even Alec knew that this was a major turn-off and no-go. “Thanks”, he just smiled. “You are, too.”

“I know”, he snickered, before his demeanour turned earnest again. “No but seriously, thank you.”

“Yeah.”

Ok, this talk, and that weird eye contact was way too much for Alec right now. “Uhm, do you play billiard?”, he asked and gestured at the empty table by their side.

“Not sure we should do that on our first date”, Magnus grinned, “given that I'll wipe the floor with you.”

“Oh, really?”, Alec grinned back. “Well, someone's having a high opinion of himself.”

“I speak only the truth, darling”, Magnus shot back and sauntered over to the table. “But I'm gracious, so I'll give you the first turn.”

“How noble of you.”

In the end, when each of them had won three of six matches, they decided on a draw.

“I do like a good competitive spirit”, Magnus remarked, after they had toasted with the next round of cocktails. Alec did finally get used to it. That, or he was just too drunk to notice the disgusting taste. Either way, it worked for Alec.

“That is thanks to my brother”, he explained.

“Right, I remember Blondie, that couldn't keep his grin down at his brother being flirted with. Jack, Jamie, something...?”

“Jace.”

“That's the one. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume there was quite some teasing going on, once me and Madzie disappeared, huh?”

“That assumption would be correct”, Alec nodded. “To be honest, it is not what I remember most of that day.”

“Then what is?”

“It is Madzie, saying something along the lines of finally staying long enough to see each other again”, Alec recalled.

“Well, what can I say”, Magnus shrugged. “I wanted to see you again.”

“Why?”

That was the part that had Alec confused. They had barely spoken, and most of what Alec had said, was said to a four-year old. And just because Magnus thought Alec attractive, it didn't mean that he actually had to force a meeting; there were plenty of good-looking guys running around in New York, one more or less didn't matter much.

“Well, the first thing I noticed was that very nice body I ran into. Then there is this breathtaking smile and you blushed so adorably... Yeah, exactly like that”, he laughed, when Alec's face turned red again. “No, but it was the way you talked with Madzie, and about being out in the park... Something lit up right then and there and... I don't know”, he shrugged and took a deep breath. “You just kind of stuck with me.”

Oh wow. That... that was unexpectedly deep.

“And let me guess”, Magnus continued, not giving Alec any chance to really dwell on it, “you said yes because I am the sexiest man in New York City.”

“Your eyes.” Instead of laughing with Magnus about the (in all fairness true) remark, Alec opted for the honest answer and looked up at said beautiful, golden eyes, shining like someone had lit a fire. “And your smile.”

Something along the lines of Magnus being the first person ever to actually, properly _see_ Alec was maybe too depressing a comment to add.

And, as Alec had hoped it would, Magnus had a smile from ear to ear on his face, beaming at him. “Yeah, exactly that one”, he grinned, and that beautiful smile turned into a full laughter and, as it had the first time Alec got to hear it, it shook something loose in him.

Maybe it was because Magnus truly enjoyed being around Alec, the real Alec that is, and not the obedient-perfect-son-mask, he wore around most people he knew.

Only problem: could Alec manage to take this perfect laugh into the world of his uptight and conservative family?


	4. Chapter 4

**2019**

“Hello darling, how wonderful to see you!” Maryse opened the door for Alec with a wide smile and embraced her son.

“Hi Mum, great to see you, too.”

“I really am surprised”, she remarked, once they sat on the couch, each a cup of tea in hand. “Don't get me wrong, I love having you visit, but...”

“I know”, he interrupted. “It was honestly a little spontaneously, so I didn't call beforehand.”

“It's a wonderful surprise, then”, she beamed and squeezed his hand. “So, how are things going with you?”

“Magnus and me are back together.” Fuck. He didn't mean to blurt out like this. Yes, it was the whole reason for him to come visit his Mum, telling her the truth about his relationship, but not like this.

“Oh.” Maryse's face fell into something between shock and confusion.

“Sorry, I didn't want to be so blunt”, Alec apologized. “After last time I was here, family dinner, you remember? I told you guys that we made up and well, I guess it was more than just a friendship after all. And I just need you to know. I mean, I know Dad won't be happy about it, and I know that you have plenty of – deserved – reservations, but I still need you to at least know about it.”

This was nothing like the speech Alec had practised on the way here. Though all of it was true, he had worked all day on how to best phrase it, yet here Alec was, bluntly blurting all of this out and, in doing so, completely overwhelming his Mum.

“I'm sorry”, he apologized, “this is a bit much, I know.”

“Why are you back together with someone that did all this to you?” Maryse was close to tears as she locked eyes with Alec.

“Because...” Damnit, Alec couldn't tell her about Asmodeus, about the whole Mafia-business, he just couldn't involve her in that, too. “Because he's the love of my life”, he shrugged.

“And how can that be enough for you?”

“Because it just is. I don't know how to explain it, things are just... They are alright between us. But that didn't happen from one day to the next. I think it took us four months, plenty of fights, and talks.”

Maryse just shook her head. “I can't understand how you could get over this.”

“Actually with the help of Izzy and Jace”, Alec smiled. “When Magnus first came back, they were hell-bent on keeping me in line around him, and forced me to take a good look at my feelings. But in the end, they were also the ones that realized that what Magnus and I feel for each other is real. And... I don't know.” Alec let out a deep sigh before locking eyes with his Mum again. “I was never one to make sense of feelings and shit. All I do know when I am with Magnus, when I see him, when I think of him...” Alec couldn't help the fond smile spreading over his face, as the most amazing laughter he had ever heard filled his head. “It all feels like it should.”

He squeezed Maryse's hands and shot her the most convincing smile he could muster up. “I know this is a lot. That's why I only ask you to trust me and at least be civil with Magnus.”

“I do trust you, honey”, Maryse assured him and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “For the rest... All I can promise is to give it a try.”

“Thanks, that means the world to me.”

“Alexander!” Oh shit. Robert walked into the living room, where Alec and Maryse were wrapped up in each other's arms. This was not a topic, he was keen on having with his Dad right now. But then again, he would never enjoy this talk with his Dad, so he might as well get it over with.

He locked eyes with his Mum, who just shrugged.

Great.

“Hi Dad.”

“What brings you by, son?”

“I have some news.” A deep breath later, Alec locked eyes with Robert. “Me and Magnus are back together.”

And from one moment to the next, Robert's happy smile about seeing his son again, dropped into unbelieving nothingness, before his features hardened. “You can't be serious.”

“I am. And that's why I came by, to tell you.”

“You really haven't learned anything, have you?” Robert's tone was bitter, almost hateful. “You're _lifestyle_ is nothing but a giant scam and, when you're finally presented with the inevitable end of such an abominable affair, you just crawl back? I really have expected more of you.”

“Sorry to have disappointed you.” As much as it hurt to be told those things by his own father, Alec knew well enough that he was in the right and that what he and Magnus shared was real. “I just wanted to let you both know. But I am also a grown-up, capable of making my own decision, so this is not much more than a courtesy, because I love you and want you to be part of every part of my life.”

“Thank you, darling, we really appreciate that”, Maryse smiled and just stopped herself, before saying some more, indubitably antagonistic, stuff. Instead, she squeezed his hands again. “And we love you, too.”

Alec tried to not give too much of a thought to Robert decidedly not telling Alec that he, too, loved him and instead squeezed his Mum's hands back. Well, this was going to be a long road. But, just as it had been many a year ago, if Magnus wasn't worth that, then nothing was.

* * *

**2013**

“Figured I might find you here.”

Until Magnus' voice ripped him out of his daydreams, Alec had been sitting on a bench, wrapped tightly into his jacket and a scarf as he watched some crows disturbing the bit of snow that had been lying on the trees.

“Hi”, he smiled at the other man, who made himself comfortable next to Alec. “Not gonna lie, it's a little weird to see you here without Madzie.”

“I bet it is, Mr Pretty”, he grinned.

“You know”, Alec laughed, “I think I heard that so much, I just one day might introduce myself as Mr Pretty, probably in the most inappropriate of settings.”

“That is something I will be very proud to have achieved then.” Magnus joined in the laughter, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Magnus felt weirdly off, differently to how he usually was when they hung out.

“I was wondering the same thing.” He locked eyes with Alec. “Maybe you can tell me?”

“Uhm...” Alec racked his brain for anything bad that might have happened over the last two months, but came up empty.

“Alright”, Magnus sighed, somewhat annoyed at Alec's cluelessness. “Let me put it that way: Am I wasting my time with you?”

“Excuse me?” That sounded a lot ruder than anything that Alec would have expected. “What do you mean, 'wasting time'?”

“I like you, Alexander. A lot”, Magnus made clear, and Alec's heart might have fluttered a bit at that. “After going out for weeks, I'm still coming up empty, though. Whenever I touch you, you shy back. And while you're already well acquainted with my friends, my family, you keep your siblings as far away from me as you can.”

Magnus left the rest unsaid, and Alec's stomach just dropped. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh”, Magnus parroted. “Are you just not in touch with your feelings, or is there more to it?”

Sure, Alec was a major emotionally stunted wreck. Probably, because he was taught from the youngest age on, that showing feelings was wrong. And, because the feelings he did have, were wrong, sinful and forbidden, he pushed all of these way down. Magnus had shook quite a lot of them loose, but what they were... Alec had no idea.

“It's...” Alec took a deep breath and looked on his fingers. This, this whole thing with Magnus... It was just too much. “Why do you keep pushing? You.. you're confusing me.”

“Confusion is part of it. That's how you find out if something's there.”

Alec felt Magnus' eyes on him, burning into his skin. Even though there were sub-zero temperatures, he started to sweat. And as wonderful as their proximity, all but brushing up against each other, was mere moments ago, it all of a sudden was too much for Alec and he had to get away. Taking a few steps away from Magnus, Alec could almost breathe again.

Magnus stayed seated for now, but Alec still felt his gaze on him. “Emotions are never black and white. They're more like symptoms.” Magnus got up and his steps crackled in the snow-covered ground as he walk up to him. “You lose your breath, every time they enter a room. Your heart beats faster, when they walk by. Your skin tingles, when they stand close enough to feel their breath.”

Why the fuck did Alec feel all of what Magnus described? He tried not to let it show, but his heart skipped more than just a beat and shivers ran down his spine, as Magnus walked closer and closer to him and he could feel Magnus' warm breath against the back of his neck.

This just had to end, all of it. Alec turned to find Magnus looking up at him. “I know you feel what I feel, Alec.”

Alec couldn't take any more of this, not right now. Magnus didn't really understand what was on the line for Alec here, did he? “You don't have any clue how I feel. So, back off. This is all just a game to you, isn't it? You flirt, you laugh, but at the end of the day, what do you risk? Even if I did feel the same for you, want me to give up my life for you? I have to do what's right for me. I could lose my family, my career, everything. You just don't get it!”

And, without another word, he just turned and walked off.

Magnus speaking up had him stop one more time though: “You have a choice to make. I will not ask again.”


	5. Chapter 5

**New Year's Eve 2019**

“Magnus, I'm not gonna let you do this”, Alec groaned for the umpteenth time; around the twelfth he lost count.

“Right because I should just keep on avoiding your folks”, Magnus shot back.

“I'm not saying that! But why the hell would you choose to do your reappearance act on the New Year's party with everybody even slightly connected to our family there?”

“Because I'm a dramatic bitch like that”, Magnus grinned and buttoned his shirt. Alec couldn't help his eyes dropping to the scar on his stomach, that quickly disappeared under the dark-blue satin fabric. It's been almost six months since the incident and now that slightly purplish-pink scar was the only bit left connecting Magnus to his past; a past, that was no longer a secret to Alec.

“Besides”, Magnus continued as he tied the golden tie around his neck. “We need to do this eventually. So why not in one big bang?” He turned to Alec, something mischievous glinting in his eyes. “There is a precedent for that.”

A fond smile spread over Alec's face, as he thought back on the New Year's party six years ago, where he came out to his family and introduced them to Magnus.

* * *

**New Year's 2013**

“You're grumpy”, Izzy observed and, with a cocktail in hand, she sat herself next to Alec on the little bench by the window. It was the perfect place for a night like this: a room full of people, Alec barely knew, but who seemed to know everything about Alec. Here however, almost pressed into a corner, people didn't seem to notice him too much.

“I'm always grumpy.”

“No, there's normal Alec-grumpy, and then there's advanced-Alec-grumpy.”

Fine, she was right. His and Magnus' fight the other day had plagued him ever since. Technically, Alec knew what the right thing to do would be: come out and stand to Magnus and whatever feelings Alec had for him. But in a more practical sense, Alec had no clue what he was supposed to do.

“And I want to enjoy this damn New Year's Party!”, she continued and boxed his arm.

“Ouch!” He rubbed his arm and shot her an offended look. “Physical violence is your idea of a good time?”

“It doesn't hurt”, she grinned back.

“Yes it does.”

“No, it really doesn't”, Jace giggled as he walked over to them. “Is he still mopey?” He barely graced Alec with a glance as he addressed Izzy.

“Yeah”, she shrugged.

“I'm not...”

“Shush”, Jace hissed and was about to probably say a few more not too kind things, when Izzy, staring at the middle of the room, held him back.

Following her gaze, Alec saw Magnus in the middle of the room, looking around. Fuck, he looked good. He totally stood out; nobody present could even come close to compete against his glittery style.

Somewhere, quite foggy, Alec was aware of his siblings, whispering next to him.

“Did Alec invite Magnus?”, Jace whispered.

“No, I did”, Izzy answered, “but I didn't think he'd show.”

By now, Magnus had spotted Alec, and locked eyes with him; he stayed still where he was though, giving Alec the chance, the choice. But he was frozen to where he sat, his breath hitching in his throat and his heart beating at about twice the normal speed.

“Alec? You alright?”, Jace asked, and Alec just about manage to nod in answer.

“Excuse me, young man?” By now Mum had seen the newcomer, who she didn't know and who probably wasn't on the guest list. “I'm sorry, but this is a private event, by invitation only.”

“But I am invited.” He held some envelope, he had probably gotten from Izzy, in Mum's face. “The name is Magnus Bane.”

“Maryse Lightwood, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my confusion, but with whom are you here?”

“With me.” Alec was already standing by the time he realized that he was the one that had spoken up.

“He is?” Maryse looked over, but Alec had his eyes locked on Magnus' and the rest sort of washed away.

Alec didn't think Magnus would give him this second (well, probably already fifth or sixth) chance. Nobody ever had done that, come back for Alec. To say he wasn't slightly overwhelmed and very much drawn in at that would be a lie. And with lying he was done. This amazing man, standing there in the middle of all these uptight relatives didn't deserve to be kept a secret, didn't deserve to be lied about any more. Not for showing Alec what being accepted, unconditionally accepted for everything Alec was, really felt like.

He barely realized Maryse's confused expression as he strutted past her, right towards the only person in this room who seemed to matter right now. Magnus didn't shy back, but something in his look seemed to shift; he looked unsure, almost anxious as to what Alec was about to do. Well, then Alec'd put him out of his misery.

It happened as if automated; in one swift motion, he grabbed the black shirt and pulled Magnus in, their lips meeting almost immediately. And Alec's innards just exploded into more fireworks than their parents would be able to fire off later that night. Magnus' arm wrapped itself around Alec's waist, holding him close; a touch that set Alec's skin on fire.

When he broke away, he just saw Magnus' lips chase his own, before Magnus looked up at Alec with wide and glinting eyes. Even if Alec would have wanted to, he couldn't keep himself from leaning in again, all but drinking Magnus in, not ready to give up on the soft touch, that was just about the most amazing thing Alec had ever felt.

“Wow, Alexander”, Magnus sighed, as they eventually broke away for good, “you do know how to make a statement.”

“Yeah”, Alec gulped, when reality caught up with him. “What did I just do?” Looking away from Magnus, he saw his parents, staring at him, somewhere between deeply embarrassed and completely enraged, before Maryse stormed off, Robert following right behind her.

Fuck.

“Finally”, Izzy smiled, as she walked back towards him and wrapped herself around Alec's arm. “I'm so proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Alec was pretty sure that he sounded a lot less convincing than he tried to. “Magnus, a drink?”

“You know me”, he smiled back, blushing just like Alec did.

“Great.” Well, that happened, and Alec just had to get through it. But that hand, slowly gripping his, intertwining their fingers and gently squeezing it, just proofed to Alec that he wasn't alone in all that. And that wonderful smile, beaming up at him just made it clear: everything would be alright.


	6. Chapter 6

**New Year's Party 2019/2020**

“Hi Magnus”, Izzy smiled, as he and Alec walked hand-in-hand into the hall of the Lightwood house.

“Wonderful to see you”, he grinned back. “You see, Alexander, not everybody here will be upset to see me...”

“Well, you showed me”, Alec shot back and rolled his eyes.

“Don't be a sourpuss, that's Mum's job.” Izzy hooked her arm with Alec's and all but pulled the guys into the seriously overfilled room.

“Still not a ballroom”, Alec hissed over at Magnus, knowing exactly what he would have remarked. Yes, his family was quite well-to-do, and they grew up pretty damn nicely. But just because their dining room might be considered by some a dining hall, it didn't mean it was a ballroom.

“Sure it isn't”, Magnus grinned back. “On a different note, would you like to dance around your parents' _dining room_?”

“I'm gonna lock you in a room with my Dad.”

“Boys, behave, or I'll separate you”, Izzy hissed over, as Maryse walked up to the three.

“Ready or not, here we go”, Alec mumbled, before shooting his Mum a warm smile. “Hi Mum.”

“Alec! I'm so happy to see you”, she smiled and hugged him, before holding her hand out to Magnus. “Welcome.”

“Thank you, Maryse”, Magnus smiled. “I am floored, you have outdone yourself.”

That was true; everything in the room was covered in gold and deep red garlands, baubles and lametta; every last detail down to a single serviette was perfectly fitted with everything around it.

“Thank you, Magnus.” And like that, Mum was at least somewhat roped in. Flattery just did wonders on Maryse and Magnus knew that; he had to get through to an antagonistic Maryse Lightwood once before, and had done that successfully. “Isabelle, how about you get him a drink and Alec, would you come with me for a moment?”

“Someone's in trouble!”, Izzy giggled, linked her arm with Magnus' and chuckling they walked away.

“What's wrong?”

“Are you and Magnus sure you want to do this here tonight?” Wow, Mum went right into it.

“He is”, Alec shrugged and offered her a small smile. “And I stand by him, our relationship and support his decisions.”

“Well, you just are a wonderful person”, Maryse smiled and squeezed Alec's hand. “And I know you're old enough to make your own decisions, just ask yourself: is this, is Magnus worth all the trouble he has caused and might cause you in the future?”

_Well, he did take a bullet to the stomach and disappeared for two years, because his mob-boss-father had a hit out on me. I think I can take an awkward evening with our extended family and acquaintances._

“He is”, Alec answered instead, since his parents did not need to know what had happened the last few months and years.

“Please don't ask me to trust him on that.”

“I do trust him. I hope that for now that is enough for you.”

“Alec, I don't know if it is.” She grabbed both his hands and gently squeezed them. “He hurt you, worse than anybody ever did. And... please don't take this the wrong way, but I fear you're just remembering all the happy memories, and forgot all about the pain, heart break and god knows what else went on in your head you never told us about.”

Admittedly, there were a lot of dark thoughts, Alec never shared with anybody. But he wasn't going to start doing that now. How ever hard he tried, though, he knew he couldn't find the words to assure his Mum that things were ok.

“All I can say”, he eventually remarked, “is that Magnus knows all about that. I'm not keeping any of the pain he caused a secret. I don't know how to make you believe that really everything is out in the open, so I guess either you can trust me on that or not.”

“It would be easier to trust if I knew what he could have done to make you forgive him.”

Yeah, no. Alec would not tell his Mum about his boyfriend's ties to the mob; Asmodeus would probably be right back on their case and Alec on the mafia's hit list. That didn't mean he didn't understand where she came from; to his parents, Alec just seemed to have forgiven Magnus out of the blue.

“I get that. I still don't know how to explain it to you, though... It happened and... Mum, I really do love him. And he loves me too, he does.”

“Just... Just be careful”, Maryse sighed.

“I am”, Alec assured her and shot her the most encouraging smile he could muster up.

“Right.” She put on a smile that didn't reach her eyes. “Let us enjoy this party, then.”

* * *

**2014/15 New Year's Party**

There were a lot of eyes on Alec and Magnus, a lot of not exactly friendly stares and as hard as he tried, Alec just couldn't ignore them any longer.

“Come on.” Alec grabbed Magnus' arm and pulled him out of the living room, away from the hostility, and into the kitchen. “Sorry, that was just too much for me in there”, he explained once they were by themselves.

“And here I was, thinking you'd get us some privacy for different reasons”, Magnus smirked and brushed his hand over Alec's chest.

“Uhm, no”, he gulped, trying to ignore the sparks that seemed to be set off by his touch. “Not in my parents' house.”

“Fair enough.” With a chuckled, Magnus leaned against the counter. “And now?”

“I don't know”, Alec shrugged, “just five minutes without all that...”

“Staring? Whispering behind our backs, thinking we don't hear it? Judging?”

“Yeah”, he nodded, with a deep breath.

“Right...” It was almost nervous, how Magnus played with his fingers, before looking up at Alec. “You... you don't regret it, do you?”

“What? No!”, Alec made clear as he walked up to Magnus and took his bejewelled, perfectly manicured hands. “You were right, about all these... feelings and shit.” Damnit, Alec really was a train-wreck when it came to talking about emotions.

Magnus seemed to think the same, as he chuckled: “and shit? If by that you mean us being into each other and now maybe even officially dating then I agree. I was right.”

“Officially? You mean, as in...”

“Fine”, Magnus grinned with a playful eye-roll. “Let me make it perfectly clear: Alexander Lightwood, would you like to be my boyfriend?”

Not sure he could speak without his voice breaking and hitching, Alec just nodded. And delighted when Magnus' entire face lit up, similarly as Alec felt himself beaming with joy. Still holding Alec's hands, Magnus leaned over, leaned in for another one of these incredible kisses, when they were interrupted.

“Alec, what the hell is going on?” Mum and Dad stormed into the kitchen, and, feeling as if Alec had been caught doing something illegal, he shied back from Magnus.

“Well”, he cleared his throat, “Magnus and me are dating.”

Even though Maryse and Robert must have expected an answer along these lines, both their faces fell in shock and it was more than just a little unnerving, as his parents just silently stared from Alec to Magnus.

Eventually it was Robert who broke it. “So, what is this? Is this... love?”

“What?” Uhm, definitely probably not. Alec had never been in love before, what would that even feel like? “No... We're not... I mean...”

“It's all very new”, Magnus threw in, coming to his rescue, not touching Alec but getting close enough that he could feel the heat coming off him, being there as a reassuring constant. Unfortunately, the Lightwoods didn't seem to see Magnus as all that helpful.

“We would like to speak our son in private”, Maryse made clear and after locking eyes with Alec one more time, Magnus headed out, back towards the party.

Well, shit. That wasn't going to be fun.

“Alexander, what the hell?”, Maryse hissed, once the kitchen door had closed behind Magnus.

“Like I said, he's my boyfriend.”

“Now, come on, be serious.” Wow, Robert was really going to deny his way out of this one, wasn't he?

“I am”, Alec repeated. “I like him. A lot. And he likes me, too. So we're dating.”

“But Alec, what about Lydia? I thought you two hit it off?”

“Yeah, she's nice”, Alec shrugged, not sure how to make his parents understand. “But I am gay.”

Wow. Never before has Alec said these words out loud. And that his parents would be the first people to actually hear him admitting to it? Fine, Alec had admitted to it the moment he kissed Magnus in front of everybody and their aunt, but actually voicing it?

“Sure you are”, Robert scoffed, “you're going through a phase, that's all this is. But is a short-lived affair until you undoubtedly come to your senses really worth pushing everyone around you away?”

“I'm not pushing you away, Dad”, Alec made clear, for now ignoring his father's skew view on homosexuality. “Is Izzy pushing you away, because she's dating Meliorn?” The moment he asked it, Alec immediately regretted it, knowing right away what his parents were about to say to it.

“Please don't compare your sister's normal relationship to whatever this is.”

Yup, there it is. Making Alec feel like a mistake, because for once in his life he was true to himself and his feelings. And this true self was so messed up, not even his own parents could accept him.

“If this is how you feel, then maybe Magnus and me should get going.”

“Yes”, Maryse nodded after a bit, “maybe that would be best.”


	7. Chapter 7

# 2017

“So, you’re gonna show me the ring, or what?”, Jace urged from where he had made himself comfortable on Alec’s desk.

“Don’t pretend that that’s the reason you’re here”, Alec scoffed at his brother.

“What else would I be doing besides supporting my brother, who is about to propose to his boyfriend?”, he squealed and repeatedly and excitedly patted Alec’s arm.

“I appreciate that, dude, but we both know that my impending engagement is only half the reason you came over to my office.”

“All these accusations, these baseless accusations!” Dramatically, Jace clutched his chest.

“Jonathan Christopher Herondale Lightwood, we both know you’re here because of my new colleague and that you have a crush on her.”

“It can be both”, Jace grinned meekly.

“Yeah. You should just ask her out.” Alec really wasn’t sure what kept Jace from doing so; he was of the fearless sort when it came to that sort of thing.

“Yeah, and I’ll do that in a moment, but I really need to know about your proposal”, he made clear.

“You don’t need to know, you want to know about it”, Alec corrected him and basked in the frustrated face drop. Alec was already bursting to tell Jace about it, and Izzy and his Mum and even Magnus. But what if he said no? What if Alec went ahead and announced his upcoming wedding, just for Magnus to shoot him down? That just wasn’t a risk he could take.

“Dude”, Jace sighed, looking as if he had just heard every single of Alec’s thoughts. “He’s gonna say yes, I don’t have a single doubt about it. Why else would he have dealt with Dad all this time?”

Jace had a point. At least Mum had gotten around to accepting Alec being gay and she actually liked Magnus, something Dad would never do. But that was just the way things were, Alec had resigned himself to the fact that his Dad just didn’t truly, unconditionally love him. And through all that, Magnus had stood by Alec’s side, through all the awful things Robert had said about him and to him.

“He loves you so fucking much, I cannot imagine that going wrong.”

“Thanks”, Alec smiled, beaming with the excitement of what Friday would bring.

“Any time. So, you’re gonna show me the ring now and tell me what’s going to happen?”, he grinned.

“Ok, fine.” As much as Alec wanted to keep it a surprise, he was dying to tell at least somebody about it. “Here.” He held the little blue box out to his brother, who bit on his lip in giddiness as he took it.

“Oh, Alec! It’s really nice! Can I…” Jace motioned to take it out of the box.

“Sure”, Alec nodded, a bit excited and nervous what Jace would say about the engraving.

“Aku Cinta Kamu?”, he read botching the beautiful pronunciation in the most horrible way.

“It’s pronounced Aku Cinta Kamu”, Alec corrected him. “It’s Indonesian for I love you.”

“That’s so sweet“, Jace squealed and put it back into the blue velvety box. “When?”

“Friday.” As much as he hated it, Alec couldn’t help but squeal along with Jace, his eyes lighting up and as long as Magnus didn’t say no, Alec would probably never ever get that love-struck grin off his face.

“That’s in only two days! Omigod, you’re gonna be engaged in like 48 hours! That’s so…” Instead of finishing his sentences, Jace just let out a high-pitched squeal, that was unexpected to say the least and could probably wake the dead.

“Ok, how are you gonna react if I actually do get a yes?” In shock, Alec just stared wide-eyed at Jace.

“Alec, you alright?” A knock on his door kept Jace from answering.

“Come in”, he called and Clary put her head through the door. “What’s up?”

“Wanted to ask you that, just heard a scream, thought you might be in trouble”, she reported and came inside. “Just wanted to check if… Oh, hi”, she smiled when seeing Jace. “You’re Alec’s brother, right?”

“Jace, yeah”, he beamed. “It’s Clary, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

From the smile on his face, Jace probably forgot about Alec’s proposal the moment Clary walked through that door.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you”, she apologized, not really paying Alec that much attention either.

“That’s alright. I think my brother was just on his way out anyways.”

“Huh?” Sure, now that Alec kicked him out, Jace remembered him sitting there.

“Yes”, he repeated emphatically and shot his brother a look.

“Oh. Oh!” Ah, the penny dropped. “Yeah. I was on my way out”, Jace nodded and turned to Clary. “I’ll walk you back to your office if you’d like.”

“Since Alec’s not dying, yes, I would like that.”

“Great. Jace has already taken way too much time and I need to finish some stuff, so…”

“Got it”, Jace winked. “Will I see you Friday?”

“Probably not”, Alec made clear. “I already got plans.”

“Saturday then”, Jace decided with that damn cheeky grin. “See ya.”And before Alec could say anything else, Jace and Clary left him with nothing but the engagement ring and the excited flutter to soon getting to go down on one knee in front of Magnus.

.

“Honey, I’m home! How was your…”The moment Alec walked into his and Magnus’ apartment he halted mid-sentence. Something was wrong. Alec wasn’t sure what, but something wasn’t right.

“Magnus?” Carefully, Alec walked through the flat when soft tapping announced Chairman Meow walking out of the bedroom up to Alec.

“Chairman, what’s going on?” He bend down to pick up the cat. “Where’s your Dad? Is he out with Ragnor and Catarina?”

“Meow.”

“Wow”, Alec chuckled, “that is one invigorating discussion. I guess I’m just a little extra nervous and paranoid because of Friday, you know?” The cat was clearly not going to answer, but voicing his anxieties out loud did help. “I never asked: do I have your blessing to marry your Dad?”

With big eyes, Chairman Meow looked up and gave a loud meow, which Alec decided to decipher as a yes.

“I’m really happy you approve”, Alec laughed as he carried him into the bedroom, where Alec finally saw what was so wrong. Magnus’ closet was wide open and empty. “Chairman, where are your Daddy’s things?”

This had to be some kind of horrible joke. But all of Magnus’ clothes were gone. All of them. Which didn’t make any sense. Ok, panicking wouldn’t help anybody. Putting down the cat, Alec got his phone out of his pocket and dialled Magnus. Who didn’t answer.

That didn’t necessarily mean anything, absolutely no need to freak out or anything. Catarina would probably know what was going on.

“Hey Alec, what’s going on?”

“Hi Cat, I’m not disturbing, am I?”

“Never”, she laughed. “Everything alright?”

“I’m not sure”, Alec admitted as he walked up and down the bedroom, “I wanted to know if…” He halted midsentence, when he saw an envelope on the bed, reading _Alexander_ in Magnus’ calligraphy-like handwriting. “Uhm, sorry, can I call you back?”

“Of course. Are you sure that everything is alright, though?”

“I think I’m about to find out”, he answered honestly. “I’ll call you later.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Talk to you then.”

Slowly but surely the nagging voice that something horrible had happened became more and more dominant as Alec cautiously reached for the envelope.

_'My dearest Alexander,_

_I am endlessly sorry, but I have to leave. I can't even begin to describe my pain and sorrow that it has to be this way. I still love you and always will and hope that one day we'll see each other again.'_

That couldn’t be right. There had to be some gigantic, brutal, horrible prank that was being played on Alec. Magnus wasn’t gone, he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Any moment now, he would jump out, tell Alec that he would never ever leave him and apologize for that horrible joke.

But nothing. No matter how much Alec wished Magnus to appear, he didn’t. It must have been hours, that Alec sat unmoving on the bed, rereading the note over and over again, hoping that eventually he would understand what was happening right here.

There was nothing to understand except for that one thing:

Magnus was gone.

* * *

# 2020

“Hi Dude”, Jace grinned as she sauntered into Alec’s office and jumped up on Alec’s desk. “You mind wrapping that up?”, he hissed and gestured at the phone Alec had pressed against his ear.

Alec just rolled his eyes. “Right. I have an annoying homunculus barging into my office, demanding my attention.”

“Sounds like your brother”, Magnus laughed.

“Good guess”, Alec chuckled and ducked just in time before being punched by Jace. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you, too. So”, he turned to his brother, “what’s up?”

“Had a lunch date with my girlfriend and thought I’d say hi. Sounded like you had a virtual lunch date with your boyfriend.”

“I did. We’re gonna have a proper dinner date tonight to make up for it.”

“That sounds nice”, Jace smiled and was that just Alec’s imagination or did Jace just blush ever so slightly?

“What’s going on?”, he glinted over, hoping to read his brother’s mind.

“Nothing’s wrong!”, he – badly – feigned innocence. Jace definitely kept something from Alec. “Anyways, I should head out. We still on for tomorrow?”

Alec nodded, still trying to read Jace’s face. “We are. Unless you want to tell me what’s up I’ll see you then.”

“See you tomorrow, then”, Jace grinned and left Alec by himself.

Whatever, Alec had too much work to do to give it any thought and Alec had soon enough forgotten about whatever went on with Jace. And once he was done with work, all that mattered was his boyfriend sitting at home, having cooked a really nice dinner.

“Hey Magnus”, Alec called out as he walked into the apartment.

“I’m on the balcony”, Magnus called back. “As is dinner.”

“Great, I’m starving.” Draping his jacket and bag over the couch, he more than happily walked out on the balcony and all but fell back into the living room, when taking in the view presenting itself: Roses everywhere, candles burning and in the middle was Magnus, down on his knee.

“Hello, Alexander.”

“Uhm. Hi.” Everything in Alec’s mind went blank and not sure what else to do, Alec took a few careful steps towards Magnus, beaming up at him.

“Well, I don’t think I need to do a long speech. I love you and if you let me, I’m never going to leave your side again.”

“Oh, that’s why Jace was so weird!”, Alec connected the dots as it slowly but surely dawned on him what was going on here.

“I obviously asked for your siblings’ and your Mum’s permission. I figured I wouldn’t need to bother your father”, he shrugged, “but as you might have gathered, they agreed. So, if it’s cool with you, I’d like to ask you that question.”

“Yeah”, Alec nodded, ignoring how much of a disaster he was being right now as the love-struck grin spread over his face.

“Awesome”, Magnus chuckled and out of his pocket his got a silver band and held it up. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Will you marry me?”

Actually hearing this question being spoken out loud was so much more emotional than knowing it was coming. The words got stuck in his throat as the first tears filled his eyes. Oh, there were going to be a lot of those tonight, Alec could feel it. He was just about to answer, when he remembered his own ring, hidden away in the bedroom. “Uhm, hold that thought and don’t move”, he remarked and more stumbled than anything else to the little side table on his side of the bed. All the way to the back of the back of the drawer was the little blue velvet box, Alec grabbed before hurrying back out to the balcony.

Magnus still knelt on the ground, looking somewhat confused and slightly worried about Alec’s reaction.

“Can you ask me again?”

“Uhm, alright”, he cleared his throat, and smiled back up. “Will you marry me?”

Hearing it for the second time was even more amazing than hearing it the first time and there roll the tears. He held his ring out to Magnus and smiled right back: “Only if you marry me, too.”


End file.
